"I'm doing the shopping online this week," Keith announced, rolling up his sleeves at the computer. He began to go through the list...
"Soya milk?" he asked.
"Yes, please, three."
"I wonder what a soya looks like?" he mused.
"As big as a sheep? Would we have room for one on the lawn?"
"Maybe one, but not a herd."
"Is it a herd of soya? Maybe it's a flock."
"No, it's a shower - definitely a shower of soya," he announced firmly. "They have 27 legs and they're black and white."
"Would we have enough grass for a shower of soya to feed on?" I wondered.
"They don't eat grass, they eat coal grit. They live in south Wales because they like the coal grit there better than up here in the north. It's not gritty enough here. Now, what about yogourt?"
It's reassuring to know that one can have these intellectual discussions chez Jennyta...innit?
The end of the road
A message came at 3.30 this afternoon. "Come upstairs to the staffroom as soon as you can."
Gradually the staff drifted in. One look at L. the acting deputy's face was enough to tell everyone there the latest news on the closure. The final attempt to fight it had taken place that morning. The council and it's various committees had been closeted all afternoon debating their decision - or at least, that was what they would have everyone believe. A cynic might take the view that the decision had been set in stone since it was first mooted. The school will definitely close in July.
"I'm sorry," said L. She struggled to say more.
Outside the window, dark clouds were becoming darker and heavy rain continued to fall into the puddles on the flat roof.
Gradually the staff drifted in. One look at L. the acting deputy's face was enough to tell everyone there the latest news on the closure. The final attempt to fight it had taken place that morning. The council and it's various committees had been closeted all afternoon debating their decision - or at least, that was what they would have everyone believe. A cynic might take the view that the decision had been set in stone since it was first mooted. The school will definitely close in July.
"I'm sorry," said L. She struggled to say more.
Outside the window, dark clouds were becoming darker and heavy rain continued to fall into the puddles on the flat roof.
Unwelcome phone calls
Here's a great idea from T.K. for getting rid of those annoying telemarketers who insist on phoning when you're trying to relax after a long, hard day.
The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with, "Is this Karl Brummer?"? Not sounding anything like my name, I asked who is calling.
The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something like that.? Then I asked him if he knew Karl personally and why was he calling this number.
I then said off to the side, "Get some pictures of the body at various angles and the blood smears."? I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to testify in this murder case.
I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.
The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice.? I then told him we had located his position and, "Stay where you are.? The police are entering the building and should be with you momentarily to take you into custody."? At that point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.
My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes.? My meal was cold, but it was the best meal in a long, long time.
The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with, "Is this Karl Brummer?"? Not sounding anything like my name, I asked who is calling.
The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something like that.? Then I asked him if he knew Karl personally and why was he calling this number.
I then said off to the side, "Get some pictures of the body at various angles and the blood smears."? I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to testify in this murder case.
I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.
The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice.? I then told him we had located his position and, "Stay where you are.? The police are entering the building and should be with you momentarily to take you into custody."? At that point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.
My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes.? My meal was cold, but it was the best meal in a long, long time.
Car locks
The lock on the driver's door of my little car has finally called time. A few days ago when I had stopped to fill up with diesel, I got the key stuck in the door and had to be rescued by a helpful Welshman who, fortunately for me, appeared, seemingly out of nowhere to offer assistance.
Today, going to town to do Christmas shopping seemed higher on the list than sorting out the lock - that is until I parked, locked the door from the inside and climbed over to the passenger seat to get out, when I discovered that the key was now slightly bent and so wouldn't lock that door either.
Plan B was heading off to the shop where Giles effected a sort of repair, which involved dismantling the inside of the door, which was a little worrying. I had visions of driving to work on Monday exposed to the elements. However, in spite of his efforts, the general consensus was that a new lock is needed, which I shall have to wait for.
So should you hear on the news about someone being catapulted from her car in North Wales early one morning next week, you will know who it is. James Bond, eat your heart out!
Today, going to town to do Christmas shopping seemed higher on the list than sorting out the lock - that is until I parked, locked the door from the inside and climbed over to the passenger seat to get out, when I discovered that the key was now slightly bent and so wouldn't lock that door either.
Plan B was heading off to the shop where Giles effected a sort of repair, which involved dismantling the inside of the door, which was a little worrying. I had visions of driving to work on Monday exposed to the elements. However, in spite of his efforts, the general consensus was that a new lock is needed, which I shall have to wait for.
So should you hear on the news about someone being catapulted from her car in North Wales early one morning next week, you will know who it is. James Bond, eat your heart out!
Cats Galore
Word has got round. Little Ginger Cat has been blabbing. You can just hear her.
"Psst, if you want a free saucer of milk, hi-tail it round to Jennyta's. All you need to do is stand at the back door and look forlorn and abandoned. It's a piece of cake, folks. Go on, give it a try!"
So this week, we've had Jack (smart, well-fed marmalade cat) from next door popping in a couple of times. But Jack is a bit on the nervous side, so he doesn't hang around, just gives the kitchen a quick once over and scoots out again.
And then this morning, we had a big black and white feline bruiser pressing his nose to the door. In the distance were Little Ginger Cat and Jack. Maybe he was on a dare.
"Go on! Prove you're hard. Get in there!"
But he didn't. Guess he didn't look forlorn and abandoned enough.
"Psst, if you want a free saucer of milk, hi-tail it round to Jennyta's. All you need to do is stand at the back door and look forlorn and abandoned. It's a piece of cake, folks. Go on, give it a try!"
So this week, we've had Jack (smart, well-fed marmalade cat) from next door popping in a couple of times. But Jack is a bit on the nervous side, so he doesn't hang around, just gives the kitchen a quick once over and scoots out again.
And then this morning, we had a big black and white feline bruiser pressing his nose to the door. In the distance were Little Ginger Cat and Jack. Maybe he was on a dare.
"Go on! Prove you're hard. Get in there!"
But he didn't. Guess he didn't look forlorn and abandoned enough.
Tired syndrome
No time or energy to blog this last week. I think it's something to do with the hour going back at the end of British Summer Time. Not that I ever take advantage of it to have an extra hour's snooze. No, Sod's Law guarantees that that is the morning that I will be wide awake at the crack of dawn.
Not so this weekend, however. Elder Daughter came to visit and stayed Saturday night. We had a lovely gourmet meal prepared by yours truly (OK, for those who know me, we had a fairly edible meal) and a couple of bottles of very pleasant French wine, of which I had no more than two, that's TWO, glasses. So it was rather annoying, to say the least, that I spent the whole of Sunday dragging myself around with a bad head, feeling like death warmed up. It happens these days. I take a few sips of wine, my liver watches the cascade with horror, throws up its hands and dives for cover.
They do say that it's more difficult to tolerate alcohol as you get older but, come on... TWO MEASLY GLASSES!!!
Anyway, that couldn't apply to me...I'm still 18.
Not so this weekend, however. Elder Daughter came to visit and stayed Saturday night. We had a lovely gourmet meal prepared by yours truly (OK, for those who know me, we had a fairly edible meal) and a couple of bottles of very pleasant French wine, of which I had no more than two, that's TWO, glasses. So it was rather annoying, to say the least, that I spent the whole of Sunday dragging myself around with a bad head, feeling like death warmed up. It happens these days. I take a few sips of wine, my liver watches the cascade with horror, throws up its hands and dives for cover.
They do say that it's more difficult to tolerate alcohol as you get older but, come on... TWO MEASLY GLASSES!!!
Anyway, that couldn't apply to me...I'm still 18.
Little Ginger Cat again
Arriving home this evening in pouring rain, I was greeted by Little Ginger Cat. If she had had fists, she'd have been battering the door down. I managed to get it open for her to caterpault herself in and hurl herself into the kitchen where she prowled around looking at me hopefully with that 'I'm starving' look on her face that cats do so well. As I had nothing in the way of food to give her, I fished out an old saucer and gave her some milk (don't tell Keith), which she demolished in seconds. A further helping followed and then...
the ungrateful little madam stood at the back door waiting to shoot out as soon as I opened it.
There's gratitude for you!
the ungrateful little madam stood at the back door waiting to shoot out as soon as I opened it.
There's gratitude for you!
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