We could have gone away in the caravan this weekend. In fact, when we came back from our last trip a fortnight ago, we agreed that we would try and get away again this weekend. So what stopped us?
Probably the weather forecast which, during the week, unfolded a picture of wind and rain all weekend.
"Plans for the weekend? Don't even bother," said the local weathergirl on Thursday.
So, we decided to be sensible and stay at home, smug in the knowledge that we were not about to be drowned at sea or blown over the nearest cliff.
And that would have been that, except for the fact that the BBC weather forecasters these days seem to be congenitally unable to get the damn forecasts right!
So, had we been able to see into the future, 'Don't bother going anywhere' would have translated as 'Wall to wall sunshine and a light breeze' which is what we had yesterday and today and probably will again tomorrow.
Infuriating!
Knight in shining armour
Well, there I was, after the journey home from Bristol, relaxing and blog-surfing when Keith suddenly stiffened and peered under the coffee table, which has a bottom shelf so is not easy to look under.
"Just go outside," he said, "Hurry up, there's - er - something under the table."
Needing no further urging, I took myself off into the hall to await further information and Paddy slid off the sofa and took himself off to his cushion (No help at all, that dog!).
There was a few moments of scuffling and moving of furniture before Keith emerged triumphant, tightly crushed tissue in hand.
"I take it that was a spider?" I said.
"Yes, a big one too," was the reply.
Having ascertained several times that he really had killed the monster, I gingerly sat down again and then got up and sprayed the whole of the ground floor with 'SpiderStop'. That should keep the wretched creatures out for a few days.
Meanwhile Keith was awaiting congratulations and expressions of admiration at the calm, efficient way he had conducted the whole episode. A real kight in shining armour!
"Just go outside," he said, "Hurry up, there's - er - something under the table."
Needing no further urging, I took myself off into the hall to await further information and Paddy slid off the sofa and took himself off to his cushion (No help at all, that dog!).
There was a few moments of scuffling and moving of furniture before Keith emerged triumphant, tightly crushed tissue in hand.
"I take it that was a spider?" I said.
"Yes, a big one too," was the reply.
Having ascertained several times that he really had killed the monster, I gingerly sat down again and then got up and sprayed the whole of the ground floor with 'SpiderStop'. That should keep the wretched creatures out for a few days.
Meanwhile Keith was awaiting congratulations and expressions of admiration at the calm, efficient way he had conducted the whole episode. A real kight in shining armour!
TV adverts
I don't really take much notice of adverts on TV. As far as I'm concerned, they are an annoying interruption to the programme I am watching, but this one which was shown tonight is one of those which is a little more memorable than most.
I am just hoping that, when I show it to Paddy, it might give him a few ideas on how he can make himself useful round the house.
Not holding my breath, though.
I am just hoping that, when I show it to Paddy, it might give him a few ideas on how he can make himself useful round the house.
Not holding my breath, though.
In Bristol
This weekend I will be mainly in Bristol, visiting Dad, so no gallivanting in the caravan this time. But, thinking back to last weekend's jaunt, I am reminded of an interesting little episode that I watched (being unashamedly nosy, of course) while I was sitting outside soaking a few rays (or whatever the phrase is) on the Sunday.
I heard a woman's voice, with a south Wales accent, effusively thanking someone and, on closer inspection, it seemed that she was thanking one of our male 'neighbours' who was ringing Tom, the site owner, on his mobile because the newly-arrived, forty-something lady in question apparently couldn't find her pitch, which was surprising really as they are all clearly marked.
Scene two:
Woman (henceforth to be called 'Pinkie' as she was wearing a pink top) and her pal in a leopardskin-print top (so we'll call her Leopard) went back to their car and Pinkie got in and pulled back onto the path and then went back and forth over the same few yards in a vain attempt to back into her spot.
By now, Tom had arrived and gallantly offered to back in for her, which was eagerly accepted with much giggling and simpering. As she was hovering around the car, another man had mysteriously appeared and retreated very reluctantly with numerous offers of help and 'If you need anything, you know where I am.'
At the same time, another woman's voice was heard (perhaps the wife of this man) saying, "You do need to learn to do it yourself, you know."
"Oh I can do it, I've done it hundreds of times," said Pinkie, "Just not this time."
Which seemed a little hard to believe as I watched the two of them struggling to lower the stabilisers by winding the brace the wrong way and searching vainly for the electric cable before plugging it in with great difficulty. How hard can it be? I hear you asking yourself. Yes, indeed!
I heard a woman's voice, with a south Wales accent, effusively thanking someone and, on closer inspection, it seemed that she was thanking one of our male 'neighbours' who was ringing Tom, the site owner, on his mobile because the newly-arrived, forty-something lady in question apparently couldn't find her pitch, which was surprising really as they are all clearly marked.
Scene two:
Woman (henceforth to be called 'Pinkie' as she was wearing a pink top) and her pal in a leopardskin-print top (so we'll call her Leopard) went back to their car and Pinkie got in and pulled back onto the path and then went back and forth over the same few yards in a vain attempt to back into her spot.
By now, Tom had arrived and gallantly offered to back in for her, which was eagerly accepted with much giggling and simpering. As she was hovering around the car, another man had mysteriously appeared and retreated very reluctantly with numerous offers of help and 'If you need anything, you know where I am.'
At the same time, another woman's voice was heard (perhaps the wife of this man) saying, "You do need to learn to do it yourself, you know."
"Oh I can do it, I've done it hundreds of times," said Pinkie, "Just not this time."
Which seemed a little hard to believe as I watched the two of them struggling to lower the stabilisers by winding the brace the wrong way and searching vainly for the electric cable before plugging it in with great difficulty. How hard can it be? I hear you asking yourself. Yes, indeed!
Prescriptions and chemists
Every so often, Keith and I need prescriptions renewed and the usual process is that I ring the surgery (only between 11am and 11.05am of course, otherwise there is no answer), ask for the prescription and it is sent to the local chemist for me to pick up a day later. The surgery and its local chemist are both a few miles away but recently our local branch of Boots, which is nearer and more convenient, has begun offering the collection service so, for the past few occasions, I have used them. There are, however, certain drawbacks:
"How did you know?" I asked. She nodded to the pharmacist. "She told me."
I have no idea how the pharmacist knows my name as I only ever go there every few weeks to pick up prescriptions and haven't been for a couple of months, but I was most impressed.
Why on earth did I even consider going to Boots rather than coming here? I thought as I went back to the car park.
The answer, of course, was that Boots is nearer and I can call there when I do the weekly shopping but some things are more important. From now on, it will be the independent pharmacy.
- Prescriptions can't be collected early as there is no pharmacist until 10am.
- Sometimes, presecriptions can't be picked up at all, if the pharmacist doesn't turn up.
- Prescriptions take a day longer because they are made up in Boots in town and then sent out.
- If they haven't got the medication in stock, they just don't bother.
- If the prescription contains a misprint (eg 1g), they don't bother contacting the surgery to check it out.
"How did you know?" I asked. She nodded to the pharmacist. "She told me."
I have no idea how the pharmacist knows my name as I only ever go there every few weeks to pick up prescriptions and haven't been for a couple of months, but I was most impressed.
Why on earth did I even consider going to Boots rather than coming here? I thought as I went back to the car park.
The answer, of course, was that Boots is nearer and I can call there when I do the weekly shopping but some things are more important. From now on, it will be the independent pharmacy.
Off in the caravan again
Keith was able to zip around comfortably on his bike and Paddy loved being able to charge down the field at the speed of light on the couple of occasions that it was quiet enough to let him and walking up some of the side streets, we could almost have imagined ourselves in a French town. 
Even the toilets were newly painted and sparkling! 
I even spotted a lovely little boat in the harbour which would suit me down to the ground...or maybe not.
Engineers
Got this in my inbox this morning from TK. Enjoy.
Understanding Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, 'Where did you get such a great bike?'
The second engineer replied, 'Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own
business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, 'Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway.'
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, 'What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!' The doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!' The priest said, 'Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.'
He said, 'Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?' The greens keeper replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.'
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.' The doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them.' The engineer said, 'Why can't they play at night?'
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, 'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, 'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, 'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with an arts degree asks, 'Do you want fries with that?'
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers
of the human body.
One said, 'It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.'
Another said, 'No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.'
The last one said, 'No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?'
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
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