Life in north east England (yes, we've moved!) with an eccentric Welshman and a small white dog that thinks he's a Rottweiler.
Housework
There's a programme on daytime TV about women who are addicted to housework. Yes, I know it's hard to believe, but straight after 'How clean is your house' in which female versions of Batman and Robin swoop into unsuspecting victims' houses and expose their filthy, unsanitary houses to the nation, comes this programme about women who are addicted to housework. (The phrase 'from the sublime to the ridiculous' springs to mind here.)
Yesterday and today, I watched this programme, (in disbelief) in between doing other things, in the hope that some of this fanatical zeal for a home totally devoid of dust might rub off on me. Of course, I'm on a non-starter here because of NASA (remember?) but I could start on the rest of the house, maybe?
I tried, I really did. I got the duster and polish out, looked at the hoover, considered the Mr Muscle..............
It's no good, try as I might, I just CAN'T get excited about housework!
(And Keith wouldn't notice if I did anyway.)
Interactively playing
Sad? Don't go there!
Tidying up
It's in the genes
and decided to have a go. I uploaded a photo of me and, hey presto, results to be proud of!
Tata Young 74% (Who?)
Minnie Driver 64%
BRIGITTE BARDOT!!! 62% (in her prime, I might add!)
Victoria Principal
Anjelica Huston
It's in the genes, all in the genes. To quote Ab Fab - "My whole body hangs from these cheekbones, dahhlling!"
Autographs will be dispensed on request.............. I think I might need to go and lie down...........
Estimating the ladybird's spots
"How many spots do you think were on that one?" I asked, in my best Joyce Grenfell voice. From the depths of the toilets came a stentorian answer,
"FIVE!"
Not only a bright class but x-ray vision too!
Eurovision
My only reaction is one of a mixture of admiration and disbelief that Terry Wogan has managed to sit through so many evenings of this over the past however many years. Ye gods, the man deserves a medal at the very least - a chest full of them even. The only bright spots in an evening otherwise distinguished only by its catatonic-inducing state are his wonderfully dry comments thrown in at appropriate moments:
"This one raises suspenders to new heights." (Turkey, I think.)
Sheer genius!
TK's latest
After 6 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine:1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makesdessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray alongwith the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the manwho is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.Here comes the important part:
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.More routine....
5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.Important again...
7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. More routine .
8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all:
10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women ...
Plaster board and dust
So, we're still no further forward on the British Gas smart meter front and I've given up making non-existent appointments with them...
-
So, we're still no further forward on the British Gas smart meter front and I've given up making non-existent appointments with them...
-
I'm not generally renowned for my patience but I think in this respect, I have demonstrated a reasonable track record, but enough is eno...
-
New Year - and diet and excercise loom large on the horizon, but now that I no longer have my dog, Lucy, walking has lost its appeal, altho...