It’s February
again, which means that I am once more on a trawl through the internet in
search of that particular superman who will swoop in and transform our garden
into a place of splendour and delight. Actually, just reasonably tidy and
garden-like would do; in other words, the absence of green mould coating the
paved areas (patio is too grand a term in this garden’s case) and a grassed
area which actually sports some grass instead of compacted mud and slime.
When we first
moved here, thirteen years ago, I assumed that everyone on this estate had the
same sort of problem, but actually, they don’t. We had the overhanging trees
cut back to improve the light, increased the paved areas, took up some grass
and put down gravel and spent a small fortune on plants, shrubs etc. which,
instead of burgeoning into sturdy, mature bushes, as they do in all the other
gardens, have consistently withered and died. The end result is that when I
look at it, especially at this time of year when, granted, no garden looks its
best, I can best describe my feeling as one of hopeless despair.
Keith, of course,
has no such feelings. For him, a garden is merely a suitable place for a shed
or, failing that, should be concreted over and painted green – his idea of a
lawn without the need for mowing.
So this year, I
decided that I was faced with a number of possible solutions:
1.
Get someone in to take up the lawn, put in some
decent soil and lay a new lawn
2.
Also redo the gravelled area
3.
Leave it as it is because the dogs will probably
wreak their usual havoc anyway
4.
Wait for Keith to fill up the remainder of the
garden with more sheds.
The last option, I couldn’t bear
the thought of and I wasn’t too keen on the third either, which leaves options
one and two.
The first
problem I always encounter on my search for gardeners, is a complete absence of
anyone in the area willing to actually answer their phone or, having done that,
commit to and honour the commitment to do the job required, hence this year,
having decided in desperation to use the Freeindex service, which offers to
find up to five people to contact you and quote for the job, I have ended up
with quotes from people about fifteen miles away. I was even contacted by
someone with a Scottish accent who gave me a quote by email, followed up half
an hour later by a phone call. When I asked if he wouldn’t need to come and see
the garden first, he said no and when I looked again at his email, I realised
why. He was based in Bishop Auckland, 122 miles away. Now that’s what I call
keen!
The first man I
spoke to, other than the Scottish man, was one of those who makes frequent use
of the old ‘sharp intake of breath.’ On learning about the heavy soil and poor
drainage, he painted a worrying picture of excavators digging up tons of earth,
installation of an extremely expensive drainage system, which probably wouldn’t
work anyway, until I was tempted to check with him whether he thought he was on
the line to one of the premier football clubs.
Number two came
this morning, laughed at the job I had done of the gravelled area under the
kitchen window, but otherwise, seemed to have a reasonable idea of what needed
doing. Hopefully, his quote, when it arrives, will be equally reasonable.
Number three,
who sounded laid back to the point of horizontal, said that, as he was out at
present, he would ring ‘some time next week’ and arrange to come and look at
the job.
Number four, a
local whom I had tried unsuccessfully to contact during the week proved, once
again, uncontactable.
Ah well, if I
don’t get someone this time, I may just have to concrete the lot and let Keith
build more sheds after all!
6 comments:
Number 4! Number 4!
Dale, I am beginning to wonder about just where your loyalties lie! ;)
It's a shame that "Ground Force" isn't still on TV. You could have got Charlie Dimmock and Tommy Walsh to transform your garden with Alan Titchmarsh doing the voice over. "Oh dear, this is not a pretty sight" would lead to "A veritable garden of Eden with a pergola, water feature and butterflies fluttering about the buddleias...oh there, there please don't cry Jenny".
I thought maybe you could pop over and do it for us, YP, with all this post retirement free time you have now! :)
I would love to do it but I have a bad knee.
The comment above was mine, Jenny. Ivy had signed in and I inadvertently posted my comment under her account ...
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