Under the caravan

Around ten o'clock every evening is the time that Paddy gets 'invited' to go out into the garden and do what a dog needs to do before his night's sleep. Usually it happens without incident. When it's raining, it happens without incident and very quickly, as he is a dog who does not like to get wet. I have tried to train him to wipe his paws on the mat before marking the floor with muddy pawprints but, alas, without success. Maybe the secret is to train him to use the mop to clean the floor instead.
Last night, however, was different. It was different because, instead of doing what he was sent outside to do, he found his way down to the bottom left hand corner of the garden, under the caravan and there he stayed, snuffling, snorting and generally poking his nose at something by the fence. When I got tired of waiting for him, I called him. When he ignored that, I went down and poked him with a stick. Whatever I did or said, no matter what dire punishments I threatened him with, I might as well not have been there. The wretched mutt totally, completely, absolutely IGNORED me! I have never been so ignored in all my life!
Finally, I crawled under the caravan and managed to grab his collar and drag him, none too gently, back into the house.
Tonight, he'll be going out on the lead!