Almost!

I came down this morning to let Paddy out to do what dogs have to do. These days I make sure I glance out of the windows to check if there are any cats or squirrels around before letting him loose, but this morning, I must have had my eyes closed. Almost before I had opened the door, he was at the bottom of the garden and a terrified, but very speedily reacting squirrel had leapt for safety onto the bottom fence and made a hasty exit. At the same time, an equally terrified wood pigeon, who had inadvertently been caught up in the whole episode, was quivering on the other fence, obviously wondering if the world had suddenly come to an end.

Deprived of his prey, Paddy then began jumping at the fence in an attempt to demolish it by sheer force, until I had legged it over the lawn, still in dressing gown, grabbed his collar and pushed him back into the house. At this point, reality must have dawned that he was 'In Trouble', so his attempt at damage limitation was to saunter nonchalantly into the living room, place his head on Keith's knee and look innocent.

"It wasn't me, gov, it was some other dog out there. Definitely not me - honest!"