"Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give you," said the wisest of wise men. "The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon."

('The Alchemist' Paulo Coelho)

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Beer and men

Here's an interesting piece of research sent to me by Dale. Being the broadminded type that I am, I disregarded the obvious slurs on the character and personality of the female of the species and posted it anyway. I'm good like that. But don't laugh too soon, Dale - remember Spiders United are still out to get you! :)

Beer contains female hormones. Last month, Oxford scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens)and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 2 hour period.

It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologise when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating. No further testing was considered necessary.


Ellee said...

I hope the researchers are not insinuating that these are female traits!

I can see the similarity with a beer belly and pregnant tum. Though of course, men would never be able to stand the pain of childbirth, even after 16 pints of beer.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

I am convinced that the researchers are insinuating that these are female traits!

Regarding beer bellies and pregnant "tums" oh sure Miss Ellee, no man could stand the pain of childbirth - not those men who had limbs shot off in wars, nor those men who fell into agricultural machinery and watched themselves being slowly ripped apart, not those men who got their heads kicked in by pissed up football fans, not those men whose trucks burst into flames on motorways after pile-ups - no, no, no, you are right Miss Ellee, being a man is easy and pain-free.

Dale said...

And don't forget the emotional trauma of walking through a spider web. Men cannot scream and run, clawing madly at their faces, but instead must casually brush a hand across the head and carry on as if nothing happened.



Jennyta said...

Woops, Ellee! You seem to have hit a nerve there! :)

Howard said...

It is a funny post but I wonder how is with women and beer? How will they react after eight pints of veer?

Mikes Page said...

Hi Jenny.

I see you are back from your visit to MY Bristol. - A visit to your Dad? Spiders, we breed them big here. I did see this Range Rover driving down the Gloucester Road at 60-mph, Aha I thought that’s Jenny with Keith, but what surprised me was that the Range Rover was beng driven the pavement., Joke!!!.

How is Keith? - Is he still attending hospital?

Have you lost your camera? - Not seen anything on Webshot since 2005!!!. Your landscape photographs of your beloved N. Wales - fantastic.

Your visit to Bristol - [Motorway Madness] what happened to the GPs - warning you of traffic problems?

Love the rose.

Your ‘Beer and men’, that beer/lager contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer/lager, men turn into women prompted me to look in my wardrobe to see eight dresses hanging there, throw out six of them, must make a note of visiting Laura Ashley again. Believe that and you will believe anything, I am one hundred per cent a complete homo sapiena.

Regards - Mick..

Jennyta said...

Sorry, Mick, Keith doesn't trust me with the Range Rover - I stick to my 'new' little Peugeot!GPS let me down, I'm afraid - it kept freezing but I think Keith has sorted it out now.
We haven't been able to go out since the broken ankle until yesterday, so I will post a couple of photos later. He is having physio now but progress is slow.
Re dresses - I'm sure you have excellent taste, Mick. ;)


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