The run up to Christmas

Back in October, I promised myself that this year, I would be super-organised with my pre-Christmas preparations. And I was. I made a list of presents I was going to buy for everyone. Keith is always full of admiration for my lists - or maybe that should read, Keith is completely unable to see the point of all my lists, but then, he doesn’t need any. I’m the one who has to remember birthdays, buy cards and presents, send them at the right time. Being a man, he doesn’t have to concern himself with all that. As far as he’s concerned, it just magically happens.

And so it did this year. Every week, I added a few extra items to my regular shopping and before long, the little bedroom was filling up fast. How lucky that Keith had decided to build himself a new shed for all his ‘stuff’, leaving the little bedroom back in my control!

So, Christmas cards were bought, written and sent early in December, presents were wrapped and labelled with military precision and we even bought a new, bigger Christmas tree, which was up and decorated two weeks ago - a definite first for me.

But sadly, things don’t always go to plan. This week, Keith succumbed to the dreaded flu. He should have gone for his flu injection and was nagged several times by me to do so, but he didn’t, with the result that he ended up last Monday night in the back of an ambulance with a temperature of 41.1C. You will notice I said ‘in the back of an ambulance’ rather than in A&E or in hospital. After being there for three hours, his temperature was back to normal and the paramedics agreed that, with a probable further two hours wait in prospect, he might just as well go back home and at least get some sleep that night.

However, since then, his progress has been a bit on the slow side and, with an admirable show of solidarity, I decided to get my first cold in about seven years, so we have both been drooping around the house, feeling sorry for ourselves.

Toby has been surprisingly helpful though, as a very efficient hot water bottle/comfort blanket.

And there you have it. Everything bought that is going to be bought and here we are hoping that we will both undergo a miraculous recovery before Friday.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Life for Dad

Since Dad moved up here, nearly eighteen months ago, he has settled in really well and adjusted to new surroundings and people. Last November, he had his first cataract done, but two days later, he was in hospital with pneumonia. After three weeks, he was better and able to go home and resume his daily life. Unfortunately, the prostate cancer, diagnosed several years ago, has continued its relentless course and he has had further stays in hospital, in July and again in September, each time going home afterwards slightly weaker and more in need of support.

Now he has four visits a day from carers, who help him with preparing meals, as well as getting up and going to bed, and his short term memory is poorer. Once a keen user of computers and the internet, he has gradually forgotten how to use them and only uses an iPad for listening to audiobooks downloaded from the library or for watching railway-related videos.  Even so, I frequently get a phone call from him in the evening, asking how to turn off the iPad when he has finished listening. Part of his problem is the deterioration in his sight. He has had both cataracts operated on now, has drops to treat his glaucoma and has had the dreaded injections in one eye to arrest the ‘wet’ Age-related Macular Degeneration (AMD), which have worked very well, but nothing can be done about the ‘dry’ AMD which he has in both eyes and so he struggles increasingly to read for any length of time. He has various magnifiers and three pairs of glasses, but then comes the problem of remembering where they are and which he needs to be wearing for a particular task.

However, ask him anything at all about the days of steam railways, and he can recall every little detail and recount it all at length - a wealth of living and experiences.

Life in Crewe Works

Dad says he still wants to write his second book, but I sometimes get the impression that it's become a bit of a millstone round his neck as his energy levels are not what they were. However, making short videos on You Tube is easier, quicker and probably more fun as well.

 Two things are in his favour:

He has a lot of interesting experiences from his ninety two years to talk about.

He can talk for England (or Wales!)

In memory of Mum

Today would have been Mum's birthday and an extra special one,  as she would now have been one hundred years old. As it was, she died at the  age of 86, in 1991. I don't remember what was on the death certificate but with the help of Dad looking after her, plus some excellent carers and the rest of us doing what we could, we nursed her at home and when the time came, she was able to die there peacefully, rather than in some anonymous hospital bed.

Mum was the next to youngest of five, three girls and two boys, and grew up on a smallholding in Staffordshire. I have a photo of her at about five years of age, face framed in dark ringlets and dressed in a pinafore, with her eldest sister and their mother. Sadly her parents died within a few months of each other when she was about fifteen and she spent the next few years living with her sister.

Her family was not well off so, in spite of being an able student who loved school, she had to leave at the age of fourteen to start work in one of the pot banks in the Potteries but, determined not to be held back by a lack of education, she went to night school and  eventually she was accepted to train as a nurse.

Whenever I complained about school or homework, she would remind me of her experiences and tell me never to forget how lucky I was. As a moody teenager, this usually fell on deaf ears. These days, I am much more aware  and appreciative of her efforts. 

Today she has been very much in our thoughts, never forgotten, always missed.

Memories

Next week is the final push in ‘Operation Moving House’ for Dad.

All that remains in the house is what he will be bringing with him and it is noticeable how big and airy the rooms look now!

I’ll be going down there again at the weekend and we’ll get as much packing done as possible before Tuesday, when Eli and his team will be coming in to help finish it off and the stairlift company will  remove the stairlift. Hopefully, that will all be done in the morning so that Dad and I can set off on the journey back here. He will stay with us overnight and we will be ready to greet Eli’s team when they arrive with the removal van on Wednesday. On Thursday, a new stairlift will be delivered and fitted and Dad will be able to begin settling into life in North Wales. (What’s not to like!!)

Of course, with the best intentions, the last few months have been a bit stressful and hard work and I am impressed with how well Dad had coped with it. It’s probably in the genes, though, as his great grandfather upped sticks and emigrated to America when he was nearly sixty. No green cards and age restrictions then!

Looking around the house, I can’t fail to be reminded of the years we spent there when I was growing up. I was ten when we moved there in 1959, over half a century ago, and my sister was five. The family who had lived there before us, we were told, had only been there for six weeks. Then one day, the husband came home from work to find that his wife had left. Whatever the details, I remember being aware of a depressing atmosphere in the house, although the abundance of green and black paint probably didn’t help. Someone’s decorating tastes differed wildly from ours!

On the plus side, though, there was a garage, which I quickly commandeered as a museum. I remember displaying pressed flowers, containers of snails and insects and, in pride of place, a stuffed red squirrel that one of the neighbours had given me. There was a patio too, although such things were not common then and it was always referred to as ‘the terrace’. Being about eighteen inches higher than the rest of the garden, my friends and I performed concerts and plays on it, sometimes to an audience, if we could pressgang anyone to watch.

The back bedroom (dark green paint and yellow wallpaper) was mine - scene of many hours of homework and revision for ‘O’ and ‘A’ levels, primping and preening and much sighing and agonising over the total lack of curl in my hair. (Yes, we all have our problems, you know!) My dressing table was a huge Victorian affair which had been painted white but whose drawers had no handles. It’s a matter of note that handles were finally fitted when I was married with children! By then, of course, it didn’t matter much to me anyway, but there are two things to learn from this:

1. All things come to those who wait - eventually.

2. Not finishing a DIY job is a man thing and far more common than you might think.

So, there we are. The end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one. Dad is looking forward to moving up here so I hope he won’t miss that house and its memories too much, but then as I have told him, the memories go with him wherever he is.

More clearing out

Last week was earmarked for more clearing out in Dad’s house, with the invaluable services of Eli and his team. They arrived on Thursday, ready to start work, but not before Dad had already done a week’s sorting out of his own. Phrases like ‘got the bit between his teeth’ sprang readily to mind!

In fact, Dad has really embraced the idea of clearing out what he doesn’t need and moving on with what he does, and this flexibilty of outlook has helped considerably to lighten a task which could have been overwhelming to say the least. A lot of the sorting out has been somewhat emotional and sparked all kinds of memories, of course, but I think we have done a good job of keeping what should be kept and removing what could be done without. It’s easy to get bogged down by the assumed importance of ‘things’ when in fact, it is the memories relating to them which are important, stored safely in our memories.

The smallest bedroom, long ago converted into a study, was earmarked by Eli as being probably the most difficult prospect, filled as it was with mountains of books, files, paperwork and various other forgotten odds and ends and, probably for that reason, it was left to the end, so this was the room that we mainly tackled on this, the last of our marathon clearing out sessions. In fact, it proved   not quite as daunting as we had feared. A lot of the paperwork and files related to Dad’s work before his retirement and was now mostly out of date and certainly no longer needed by him, so this was quickly disposed of. Of the books, about half were kept and the rest were taken away. Dad is a published author and much of the material he has kept is going to be relevant to his next book.

So, by the end of this third session, we were now in the happy situation of being left only with what will be moving up here with him. Downsizing from an inter-war three bedroomed semi to a small, modern, two-bedroomed semi seemed like an impossible task before we started but happlly, it’s not.

Onwards and upwards…!

Caravan or shed?

We had talked about it last year, or at least I had. Keith had listened, or maybe not listened. (It’s sometimes difficult to tell with men!) We’ve had our little caravan for four years now, during which we have not used it nearly as much as I thought we would. Keith knew exactly what he wanted and we found it, only it was across on the other side of the country in Lincolnshire. On the day we drove over to collect it, we did so in torrential rain and it doesn’t seem to have stopped much since, although we have managed to find a few decent weekends. I had visions of us visiting places all over the UK with it, but truth to tell, that hasn’t really happened. We’ve tended to stick to north west Wales, which is largely unspoilt and ideal for getting away from it all but, for some reason, we haven’t ventured any further. So there it is, our caravan, sitting in the garden, taking up space and there Keith is, muttering quiet longings for a shed. You haven’t got a shed? I hear you ask in disbelief, to which the answer is, yes, we have. I bought it some years ago to replace the one we inherited, which had come to the end of its useful life and to house our garden utensils. Unfortunately, the invisible garden gnomes have quietly and gradually filled it with ‘man stuff’. Yes, it must have been the gnomes. After all, Keith would never have done such a thing, being such a tidy, orderly man - would he? Well now it appears that even more space is needed as this ‘man stuff’ is increasing and multiplying. I have to battle to get the lawnmower out of the shed as it is and fight even harder to get it back in so I am somewhat sympathetic to the suggestion of getting another shed. Let’s face it, if we leave a space, it will only get filled up with another car wreck.Memories of the Camaro are still vivid, as are those of the Jaguar. No, I definitely would prefer a shed, especially if it meant I would get my own shed back.
Which brings me back to the beginning of this post. We now have a caravan to sell, so if you are interested, you are welcome to follow the link and take a look here. Go on, you know you want to!