Dressing a child

Thanks to TK for this... It's got to make you smile!

The Winter Boots 

 

( Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this) 

 

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her reception class pupils put on his boots?
He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.
She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher, they're on the wrong feet.' She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as, together, they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the correct feet.
He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.' She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, 'Why didn't you say so? ' like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they got the boots off when he said, 'They're my brother's boots. My Mum made me wear 'em.'
Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?'
He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots.'

She will be eligible for parole in three years.

 

 

My Christmas present

This is the lovely picture that I got for Christmas from Elder Daughter and her husband, which I hung in the dining room today. Each silhouette is one of my children. It's such a lovely and unusual idea.

Thanks again, Kathy and Mark. It's brilliant!

Political correctness

This, from TK, was in my inbox today and, as a definition of 'political correctness' I think it would be hard to beat.

There's an annual contest at the Griffiths University, Australia, 
calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.

This year's term was 'political correctness'.

The winning student wrote:

Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, 
illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by mainstream media, which 
holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a 
piece of shit by the clean end. 

Don't you agree?

Seven more things...

I just found a post from 2006 this one, in fact, in which I listed seven things I was pleased about from the previous year and thought I might have a go at it again. Life is quieter these days, as I am no longer teaching, but the days still get filled up one way and another, so here goes, in no particular order:

1. Being able to see my grandson, Paul growing into a delightful, intelligent and  energetic boy that his father would be so proud of.
2. Having two dogs instead of one. Jake joined us last new year and he and Paddy get on so well.
3. Doing Pets as Therapy visits to a nearby retirement home with Jake. He loves going and the residents love seeing him.
4. Being in my second year of learning Welsh.
5. Elder Daughter having passed her consultancy exams. Soon she will be a consultant in care of the elderly, which could come in useful for us one day!
6. Seeing Younger Daughter settled in her own house and living an active life.
7. My iPad  Christmas present from Keith. (Yes, I know, very materialistic of me!)

For anyone who would like to have a go at this, feel free!

Best wishes

Happy New Year to everyone

Service with a sharp intake of breath

On Thursday, the washing machine finally breathed its last and my knight in shining armour, aka Keith, sprang onto the internet and, within minutes, had a new one ordered, to be delivered, plumbed in and the old one taken away yesterday. So far so good. Yesterday, I cleared the cupboard under the sink, got everything ready and, give them their due, they arrived as promised.

In fact, all went smoothly until man A looked under the sink and said, in tones of great satisfaction,

"Can't do it!"

"Pardon?" I said.

"Can't do it." There followed a stream of incomprehensible reasons, which, to cut a long story short, boiled down to the fact that a little blue plastic tap had broken off and they weren't allowed to use a wrench, nor to turn the water off at the stop cock.

Man B took his turn at peering under the sink and shook his head gloomily.

"See?" said man A to me triumphantly, "And I haven't even said anything to him!"

The thought crossed my mind to ask which of them was pulling the other's strings, but by great effort of will, I desisted.

When Keith came home, he turned the water off in seconds, with minimal effort and then got on the phone to request that the men return and do what they were contracted to do.

So they are due to return before 12.30 today ...

Watch this space.

TK's Insurance advice

 Is your insurance due for renewal in the new year? Check T.K.'s list below first...

Make sure you get the correct insurance for the sex you are having.
Find below a list of companies catering for most tastes: 

Sex with your wife - Legal & General.
Sex on the telephone - Direct Line.
Sex with your Partner - Standard Life.
Sex with someone Different - Go Compare.
Sex with a lady of generous proportions - More Than.
Sex On the back seat of a car - Sheila's Wheels.
Sex with a posh bird - Privileged
Sex with a prostitute- Commercial Union ;
Sex with your maid- Employer's Liability.
Sex with an OAP - Saga !
Sex resulting in pregnancy- General Accident
and finally
Sex with a transvestite - confused.com