Service with a sharp intake of breath

On Thursday, the washing machine finally breathed its last and my knight in shining armour, aka Keith, sprang onto the internet and, within minutes, had a new one ordered, to be delivered, plumbed in and the old one taken away yesterday. So far so good. Yesterday, I cleared the cupboard under the sink, got everything ready and, give them their due, they arrived as promised.
In fact, all went smoothly until man A looked under the sink and said, in tones of great satisfaction,
"Can't do it!"
"Pardon?" I said.
"Can't do it." There followed a stream of incomprehensible reasons, which, to cut a long story short, boiled down to the fact that a little blue plastic tap had broken off and they weren't allowed to use a wrench, nor to turn the water off at the stop cock.
Man B took his turn at peering under the sink and shook his head gloomily.
"See?" said man A to me triumphantly, "And I haven't even said anything to him!"
The thought crossed my mind to ask which of them was pulling the other's strings, but by great effort of will, I desisted.
When Keith came home, he turned the water off in seconds, with minimal effort and then got on the phone to request that the men return and do what they were contracted to do.
So they are due to return before 12.30 today ...
Watch this space.

TK's Insurance advice

 Is your insurance due for renewal in the new year? Check T.K.'s list below first...

Make sure you get the correct insurance for the sex you are having.
Find below a list of companies catering for most tastes:
 
Sex with your wife - Legal & General.
Sex on the telephone - Direct Line.
Sex with your Partner - Standard Life.
Sex with someone Different - Go Compare.
Sex with a lady of generous proportions - More Than.
Sex On the back seat of a car - Sheila's Wheels.
Sex with a posh bird - Privileged
Sex with a prostitute- Commercial Union ;
Sex with your maid- Employer's Liability.
Sex with an OAP - Saga !
Sex resulting in pregnancy- General Accident
and finally
Sex with a transvestite - 
confused.com

Nadolig Llawen a blwyddyn newydd dda

Or, to put it another way, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
I have been up since seven, but awake since four - another of those inexplicable nights when I sleep for a few hours and then lie awake for the next few, but maybe, this time, it was the sound of sleigh bells which woke me, unlike some years in the past when I was Santa, which involved trying to grab an hour's sleep in between creeping into the children's bedrooms to deposit their presents when they had finally gone to sleep and responding to the delighted cries when they woke up and discovered that "he's been!"
It was a very narrow window, which resulted in my spending Christmas day feeling sick with tiredness. I have never been able to deal with lack of sleep!
But these days, Christmas day is calmer. Dad is here for the week and Keith insists on cooking Christmas dinner. What a gem he is!  Reason given is that he doesn't think I can do it properly but, who cares? I can take the insults if it means I am excused culinary duties.
Younger Daughter will arrive around one o'clock and we will see Elder Daughter and husband on Friday.

AND, just for the moment, IT'S NOT RAINING!!!

Have a good one, everybody!


What you can do with lights and sheep

I found this on a post by a friend of ours on Facebook and I'm not sure where it comes from but it does permit sharing, so here goes...
 This is what Keith will be aiming to do next Christmas when he has finished experimenting with LED sequencing.

Words of wisdom

I found this on Elder Daughter's Facebook a few weeks ago and saved it. Today, I thought I would share it with you:
LETTER FROM A MOTHER TO A DAUGHTER:

"My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all,
 try to understand what I’m going through.
If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the
 same thing a minute ago”... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and
 I would read the same st
ory night after night until you would fall asleep.
When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run
 after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t
 look at me that way... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately,
 getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day... the day you see I’m getting old, I ask
 you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous,
 impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.

And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offere
d mine to you when you first walked.

When those days come, don’t feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of
 my life with love.

Plaster board and dust

So, we're still no further forward on the British Gas smart meter front and I've given up making non-existent appointments with them...