Demob happy teacher

How to wash a cat

Cat lovers look away now! This little gem comes from Keith, who sad to say, is not a cat lover.

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl...
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. At this point the cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'Power-Wash' and 'Rinse'.
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand well back, behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

--

The end of summer

Every year, spring comes and I look forward to the long, sunny days of summer and every year, when summer disappoints, I hope for an Indian summer. Then September runs its course and, before we know it, we are into dark nights and short days.

Last week, the weather fell short of our expectations. Let's face it, we didn't expect twenty hours of continuous rain on an early September day! Today, Paddy and I went for our walk up, round and through the valley. There are still lots of leaves of the trees but a fair few on the ground too and autumn colours are on the rise. I wonder, as I always do at this time of year, whatever happened to summer? Actually, it wasn't too bad in this neck of the woods; not as much rain as in other areas and not too hot - I like not too hot. And, I must admit that for me, the best part of autumn is still the knowledge that I am not going back to the classroom job to start a new academic year! I shall continue to rejoice in the fact that Paddy and I can be out on our walk at 9am on a weekday morning and hear the sounds of the school day beginning in the school across the road.

Autumn? Bring it on, Indian summer or not!

Holiday?

We decided that we could do with a few days away, so, in the true adventuring spirit for which we bought the caravan - as in, to go to lots of different places - off we went to ...

Barmouth. Yes, OK, Barmouth again. Well, it suits us because it's great for cycling and there's lots of beach for Paddy to explore.

On our first day, Thursday, the sun shone and the sky was blue, and so it was on Friday. The beginnings of an Indian summer perhaps?

Obviously the Weather Fairy had overheard my thoughts and on Saturday, she sent the rain; not just a little shower, you understand, oh no, torrential downpours from 6am till 2 o'clock the following morning without a break.

Sunday? Some heavy showers, but at least we got a few dry spells and were able to get out and about. Oh, and the bed broke.

Monday? Gale force winds and heavy showers. Also, Keith's bike developed a fault and, as he uses it to cover the distances that he can't walk, he was more or less confined to barracks. It was too windy for cycling anyway.

So, Monday afternoon, we threw in the towel and admitted defeat, especially as the weather forecast for today was full of doom, gloom, wind and rain of biblical proportions. Yep, we packed up and came home.

Well, if we're going to be not going out, we might as well be doing it in comfort at home.

Next year - it's gonna be France!

Jigsaw

Courtesy of TK.
Enjoy!

Bet you didn't know this!

I know I haven't been around much lately, but here's another offering from TK to brighten your day. :)

How the internet began - the real version.

In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband: "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her - as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said: "How, dear?"
And Dot replied: "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price.
And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew.

It was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP)
But this success did arouse envy.. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and began to siphon off some of Abraham's business. But he was soon discovered, arrested and prosecuted - for insider trading.

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung.
They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say: "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."
And Abraham looked out over thee Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known. He said: "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied: "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.
It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE)
And that is how it all began.

A Mother's Story: Birthday

Family trees

They're fascinating and very addictive, I've discovered as I have recently taken advantage of the two week trial membership of Ancestry.co.uk and have spent almost every waking hour of the last couple of days delving back into the misty realms of my forebears. One branch leads back to the twelfth century - that would be our Norman connection, then, you know, the Grosveneurs, de Veres and de Leighs. Name dropping? Moi?
It is noticeable how firmly rooted Dad's family is in Cheshire and Mum's in Shropshire, with a few forays into Staffordshire and Worcestershire. Families of ten children were not uncommon and a fair few were married more than once - no doubt because the poor wives either died in childbirth or were worn out by producing so many children.
I often watch the advert for Ancestry.co.uk and wish that we really could talk to family members through the ages but, in the meantime, I'll carry on with the investigations and a bit of imagination. At least the dining room table is now covered with sheets of family tree, a change for the better from Keith electronics.