This morning's visit to Flighty's blog reminded me that this weekend is the last of January and that means The Big Garden Birdwatch. I have only been doing this for the last three or four years but on Sunday morning, I shall be duly installed in the conservatory, coffee and binoculars to hand. This winter, I have been feeding the birds as usual and the vast majority have been great tits and blue tits with some blackbirds, dunnocks and, of course, the ever present magpies. Then there's the resident robin who seems to take great delight in chasing off all the other birds whenever he is around, but the biggest pains of all are the squirrels who have yet to be convinced that the food I put out is not actually for them at all.
However, my secret weapon, Paddy has lately taken to hurling himself at the bottom fence where they appear whenever he is let out and that seems to have made them a little more wary. He has yet to realise that the squirrels move a lot more quickly than him and can be back up in the trees laughing at him before he has reached the fence.
There have been a few narrow misses though, so squirrels, don't be too complacent. One of these days, one of you will go home missing a tail!
Another blonde joke...
Here's another nice one from TK (who objected to my calling him notorious the last time, so I need to tread carefully!).
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.
'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop...
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.
'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop...
The Guinness excuse
When we thought Dad was coming for Christmas, I bought a pack of four cans of Guinness for him, which, as arrangements were subsequently changed, were left in the cupboard and forgotten about. But only by me, it seems! When I got back from Bristol on Sunday, I discovered that there was now only one can left.
Upon enquiry, I was informed by 'He Who Is Always To Blame' that he had drunk the other three over the weekend as he needed the metal from the cans to make 'shims'. These, in case you feel you need to know, are something that he needs in his auto-locksmithing work and seemingly, can only be made from empty Guinness cans.
What is even more surprising is that, as he was explaining this, he held up only two metal sheets for my inspection, which begs the question, what happened to the third?
Keith looked meaningfully across at Paddy and shrugged.
Upon enquiry, I was informed by 'He Who Is Always To Blame' that he had drunk the other three over the weekend as he needed the metal from the cans to make 'shims'. These, in case you feel you need to know, are something that he needs in his auto-locksmithing work and seemingly, can only be made from empty Guinness cans.
What is even more surprising is that, as he was explaining this, he held up only two metal sheets for my inspection, which begs the question, what happened to the third?
Keith looked meaningfully across at Paddy and shrugged.
Rubbish!
We British as a nation seem to have a somewhat cavalier attitude to litter. People think nothing of dropping a sweet paper or other rubbish as they walk along the street, seemingly oblivious to the litter bin just a couple of yards further on. I once knew someone who had a policy that, whenever he saw someone do that, he would pick up the object and return it to the 'owner' with the polite comment, "Excuse me, I think you dropped this." These days, he would probably be assaulted and then arrested for disturbing the peace. So this is probably not a course of action I would follow myself, although I might be tempted on occasion.
The person or persons who decided to stop in the car park in our valley and clear out the rubbish from their car would be a prime candidate. Instead of using any of the THREE bins within a few yards of where they stopped, they decided to leave a pile of empty sandwich packages, half-drunk bottles of coke and other detritus right there on the car park. So much easier than actually getting out of the car and making the marathon trek to a bin, of course.
It does occur to me to wonder how they would feel if someone dumped a pile of rubbish in their front garden, but actually, they probably wouldn't even notice.
The person or persons who decided to stop in the car park in our valley and clear out the rubbish from their car would be a prime candidate. Instead of using any of the THREE bins within a few yards of where they stopped, they decided to leave a pile of empty sandwich packages, half-drunk bottles of coke and other detritus right there on the car park. So much easier than actually getting out of the car and making the marathon trek to a bin, of course.
It does occur to me to wonder how they would feel if someone dumped a pile of rubbish in their front garden, but actually, they probably wouldn't even notice.
The 'B' word
Every few weeks, I overhear conversations between Jenny and Keith about 'going to Bristol' which means that Jenny is going to visit her dad. A few days later, other things happen. Jenny does the shopping and keeps telling Keith that he has plenty of food while she is away, so there is no need to get fish and chips or sweet and sour chicken and fried rice. When she says that, he looks a bit sad, so I suppose he likes them but then he gets a twinkle in his eye, which makes me think he fully intends getting them anyway.
Then I see Jenny getting a black bag from under the bed in the spare room and filling it with clothes and other things; which reminds me, why on earth do humans wear so many clothes anyway? A collar and lead does me every time...
Finally, after a lot of going backwards and forwards to the car, Jenny is ready to go.
That's when I know that, for a few nights, I will be getting extra biscuits and I shall get to sleep on the bed and, if I'm lucky, which is none too certain after the pig-chasing fiasco, I might even get to go to work with Keith in the van.
Well, it all goes to ease the pain of separation...!
See ya Sunday!
Hibernation?
Unlike some of my fellow bloggers, this is definitely not my favourite time of year. I dislike the long, dark evenings more with every year that passes and snowy, icy days seem to mean that everyday routines take longer and require more effort. Ploughing round the snowy field and valley with Paddy for our morning constitutional uses extra muscles, which of course, is probably a benefit and he seems to love it, but it takes just that little bit more effort to get out there in the first place.
On the bright side, the shortest day has come and gone, which means that we are now on the way to Spring. Agreed, we are taking the scenic route; it isn't going to happen overnight and we could have a few more bad weather episodes to get through first but, it's getting closer...
There are times, though, when I wonder if maybe the bears get it right. Hibernation could be the way!
On the bright side, the shortest day has come and gone, which means that we are now on the way to Spring. Agreed, we are taking the scenic route; it isn't going to happen overnight and we could have a few more bad weather episodes to get through first but, it's getting closer...
There are times, though, when I wonder if maybe the bears get it right. Hibernation could be the way!
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