Good morning!

Paddy is undergoing a slightly altered form of 'training' at present. In the past, he has always been very erratic in the way he greets other dogs that we meet on our walks. Sometimes, he's as good as gold, he and the other dog have a sniff round each other (recognised etiquette in the canine world) and then we continue on our way. But on other occasions the 'greeting' consists of  barking furiously and lunging with all his might towards the other dog. Often, I think, there is something in the other dog's body language or behaviour which elicits this reaction, but maybe I'm just making excuses for him. After one occasion recently when he got over excited and wound his lead round the legs of the other dog's owner, threatening to topple her over into the valley below, I decided tactics had to change. So, instead of allowing him to approach slowly and greet the other dog - or not - we now have a different system. When we see another dog and owner approaching, we withdraw to the side of the path and let them pass. If he gets this right, he gets a treat before we proceed on our way and he has mostly been getting it right.
So that's him sorted. Now I apparently need to work on my people skills. After all, what other reason could there be for this morning's encounter with a spaniel and his owner. who, when I said 'good-morning' to him, completely blanked me and called his dog away from Paddy?
Oh yes, he could just have been an ignorant so and so, of course.
The spaniel, on the other hand, was lovely and perfectly behaved.

Car insurance

Since we changed our car a few weeks ago, the AA decided that our premium should be practically doubled. Granted the car is a bit bigger, as you can see, but it is also older and the 12 year old that I spoke to was not up for discussion. In the past, when my insurance was due for renewal, I would get a quote from my current company and a cheaper one as an alternative. Now, it just rises steadily and it's 'take it or leave it.'

So, I decided to do some investigations of my own via a comparison website and, lo and behold, I found one, nay half a dozen, which, even with myself as main driver and Keith as named driver, which would have cost me even more with the AA, comes in at just over half the AA quote.

Next was another phone call to the AA to tell them that I wanted to cancel my insurance policy with them. Naively, I did expect the lady at the other end to  ask why I wanted to cancel, even to add some expression of regret. I have been a customer of theirs for close on thirty years and, to be fair, I have, until recently, found their service to be good value. However, no enquiry was forthcoming and even when I explained that I had found another policy for half the price, there was not a vestige of interest or comment. She completed the transaction, informed me of my refund, which is minus FIFTY POUNDS for 'administration'! To add insult to injury, yesterday they sent me a three page customer survey to fill in.
The second word is 'off' AA!

Dog training

Every morning Paddy and I go for a walk and every morning, when we get back, I break up two little chew sticks and put them in a special ball that he has with a hole in it. The idea is that he has to chase it round to get the treats to fall out so that he can eat them.
So far, so good. But every morning, I make sterling efforts to persuade Paddy to go and fetch said ball so that I can put the treats in it and every morning, he looks at me blankly, even when I point to the ball, put it under his nose, roll it past him or do cartwheels round the room with the ball between my teeth. (OK I lied about the last one, but even if I did it, it wouldn't make a blind bit of difference.) Da dawg is not for fetching - balls, quoits, toys - you name it, he won't fetch it, which, considering he would chase and fell a cat at 20 paces, given the chance, is surprising.

So Keith lent him his cap to try and warm up his brain cells.














Which, as you can see, worked a treat!

Pearly whites and goggles

I achieved something quite amazing last week. I managed to persuade Keith that he needed appointments with the dentist and the optician. I think it may have been the pain of his arm being thrust between his shoulder blade that did the trick but, suffice it to say, he has not seen the inside of an optician's lair for at least eight years and, as for the dentist:
"If you don't go," I threatened, "they will charge you for the missed appointment and take you off their list and you know how difficult it was to find an NHS dentist with vacancies..."
So he went to the dentist yesterday.
Bear in mind that this is a man who, I am convinced, was the prototype for Just William and so is never going to be a candidate for teeth whitening and other cosmetic dentistry but who returned from the dentist bearing a satisfied smirk and the news that he needed no treatment. (In contrast to moi who takes fanatical care of her teeth, yet still needed a filling to be replaced!)
Today it was was turn of the optician. An hour later, he returned in a state of some considerable agitation at the cost of his new glasses. Useless to remind him that the last time he had a new pair of glasses, they were still being made with real glass lenses and tortoiseshell frames, the man was inconsolable.
I think he may need to go and lie down in a darkened room...

Colin Caterpillar is still in the fridge.

Younger daughter came to visit yesterday and stayed overnight, which was lovely as it gave us a chance to catch up on news and gave Paddy a chance to show off and demonstrate how badly behaved he can still be on the lead! After she had set off on her homeward journey at lunch time, I noticed a strange packet in the fridge, so I took it out and, lo and behold, it was a packet of marshmallow-type, caterpillar-shaped sweets and the name on the packet told me that these little creatures were commonly known as 'Colin' and contain no artificial colours or flavouring.
(Wot???)
No, I didn't ask. I just sent her a text message to tell her that Colin Caterpillar is still in the fridge.
No reply yet though...

What day?

This morning I got up, showered and washed my hair, had breakfast, changed the sheets, put on a wash and then sat down expectantly.
Keith continued to sit at his computer.
"Right then," I said, "I'll just sit here ..."
"Yes?" said Keith.
"...and wait for you to remember what day it is today."
We went through the predictable: Friday, Good Friday, beginning of the weekend. Keith was wringing his hands and looking increasingly worried.
"And," I continued mercilessly, "My smile will get ever more fixed the longer you take to get the right answer."
I took pity on him. "It's a special day for us," I prompted.
Understanding dawned. "It isn't.... is it? Today?"
Yes, it's seven years to the day since we first met, outside Littlewoods in Liverpool as it happens, although that's a mere detail.
"Oh, you get less than that for murder!" he quipped.
Hmmm, not if it's due to extreme provocation!

Light rain

The weather forecast widget on my blog tells me to expect 'light rain' today. Mind you, it does tend to change by the hour and never seems to be very accurate anyway. Today, however, we haven't got light rain, we've got very a robust wind and sleet. Earlier, we had snow, which fortunately didn't stick. So the garden is back to its hibernal state of something resembling the Somme and, as Paddy hasn't yet learned to wipe his paws on the mat when he comes in from his 'toilet activities', the floor mop is in constant use.
Last week, when it was sunny and hinting at exciting promises of an approaching spring, I nailed a wooden border to the bottom of the fence in order to persuade Paddy that digging through to next door's garden is not a good idea and I even, daringly, planted a few shrubs in the ambitious hope that they would actually flourish in the apology for soil that makes up our garden.

Then I made my first mistake. I went to Dad's for the weekend and left the 'boys' here.

Although Keith knows that if Paddy is left to his own devices for more than five minutes in the garden, he goes into dig for victory mode, he left him to his own devices for more than five minutes in the garden and, hey presto! Da dawg disappeared into next door's garden.
So by the time he was relaying all this on the phone (Keith, not Paddy - keep up), he had spent half an hour trekking back and forth to retrieve said mutt, his bad ankle was really, really bad and his legs were on fire but he was still maintaining that he had 'done nothing wrong'.

I think he might have been watching too many interviews with politicians.

BUT, tomorrow, the forecast is for sunshine and 9 degrees! (Celsius, I hope).