Colin Caterpillar is still in the fridge.

Younger daughter came to visit yesterday and stayed overnight, which was lovely as it gave us a chance to catch up on news and gave Paddy a chance to show off and demonstrate how badly behaved he can still be on the lead! After she had set off on her homeward journey at lunch time, I noticed a strange packet in the fridge, so I took it out and, lo and behold, it was a packet of marshmallow-type, caterpillar-shaped sweets and the name on the packet told me that these little creatures were commonly known as 'Colin' and contain no artificial colours or flavouring.
(Wot???)
No, I didn't ask. I just sent her a text message to tell her that Colin Caterpillar is still in the fridge.
No reply yet though...

What day?

This morning I got up, showered and washed my hair, had breakfast, changed the sheets, put on a wash and then sat down expectantly.
Keith continued to sit at his computer.
"Right then," I said, "I'll just sit here ..."
"Yes?" said Keith.
"...and wait for you to remember what day it is today."
We went through the predictable: Friday, Good Friday, beginning of the weekend. Keith was wringing his hands and looking increasingly worried.
"And," I continued mercilessly, "My smile will get ever more fixed the longer you take to get the right answer."
I took pity on him. "It's a special day for us," I prompted.
Understanding dawned. "It isn't.... is it? Today?"
Yes, it's seven years to the day since we first met, outside Littlewoods in Liverpool as it happens, although that's a mere detail.
"Oh, you get less than that for murder!" he quipped.
Hmmm, not if it's due to extreme provocation!

Light rain

The weather forecast widget on my blog tells me to expect 'light rain' today. Mind you, it does tend to change by the hour and never seems to be very accurate anyway. Today, however, we haven't got light rain, we've got very a robust wind and sleet. Earlier, we had snow, which fortunately didn't stick. So the garden is back to its hibernal state of something resembling the Somme and, as Paddy hasn't yet learned to wipe his paws on the mat when he comes in from his 'toilet activities', the floor mop is in constant use.
Last week, when it was sunny and hinting at exciting promises of an approaching spring, I nailed a wooden border to the bottom of the fence in order to persuade Paddy that digging through to next door's garden is not a good idea and I even, daringly, planted a few shrubs in the ambitious hope that they would actually flourish in the apology for soil that makes up our garden.

Then I made my first mistake. I went to Dad's for the weekend and left the 'boys' here.

Although Keith knows that if Paddy is left to his own devices for more than five minutes in the garden, he goes into dig for victory mode, he left him to his own devices for more than five minutes in the garden and, hey presto! Da dawg disappeared into next door's garden.
So by the time he was relaying all this on the phone (Keith, not Paddy - keep up), he had spent half an hour trekking back and forth to retrieve said mutt, his bad ankle was really, really bad and his legs were on fire but he was still maintaining that he had 'done nothing wrong'.

I think he might have been watching too many interviews with politicians.

BUT, tomorrow, the forecast is for sunshine and 9 degrees! (Celsius, I hope).

Found in my inbox

These are sentences actually typed by Medical secretaries in NHS Greater Glasgow:

1. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21 Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.
29. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
31. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
32. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
33. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

STAY AWAY FROM HOSPITAL!!

Men and cricket - according to TK.

Hmm, an interesting one, this! I make no comment.
A little known fact :
The first testicular guard was used in cricket in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.
It took 100 years for men to realize that their brain could also be important.

Borrowed from The Independent

I saw this in The Independent this morning and decided that the idea would be an interesting one to borrow. I shall pass it on for your perusal and attention and invite anyone who would feels so inclined to pick up the baton and run forward with it. :)
My parents were ...  married for over 54 years. They met when Dad was in hospital and Mum was the ward sister.
The house I grew up in ... from the age of ten was a typical three bedroomed inter-war semi. Before that, we moved around a bit.
When I was a child I wanted to be ... well, actually, I wanted to be a princess and rich, neither of which has happened.
If I could change one thing about myself ... I would like  to be slimmer and to have curly hair is the superficial answer (yes, I know that's two). The more serious answer is I would like to worry less.
You wouldn't know it but I'm very good at ... being tidy and well organised.
You may not know it but I'm no good at ... maths. I used to be a maths phobic but I am trying to get over that.
At night I dream of ... losing things and looking for things, often my purse!
What I see when I look in the mirror ... Someone who has made mistakes in the past  and had a pattern of not trying hard enough and settling for second best academically but who is now pretty well on track with what she wants to achieve in life.
My favourite outfit ... something which is comfortable but looks really good. I am still looking. There is some truth in the French saying, 'Il faut souffrir pour etre belle' which is loosely translated as 'To look halfway decent requires a large degree of discomfort.'
My house is ... compact, easy to look after and in a quiet location which is great for country walks.
My favourite work of art is ... anything by L.S. Lowry.
A book that changed me ... I can't think of any one particular book which I could say had changed me, but I have always loved reading and couldn't imagine being without at least one book on the go.
Movie heaven ... I am not a huge fan of films but I do get hooked on TV series sometimes. All time favourites in that respect is the Beiderbecke Trilogy, based on the novels by Alan Plater, probably because they are reminiscent of a more carefree era of teaching but I also enjoy his sense of humour, which comes across so well in the series.
The last album I downloaded ... I haven't. I still prefer to buy the CD but I listen to Last fm and that often leads me to artists who are new to me.
My greatest regret ...  Regrets are about living in the past and are generally a waste of energy so I look at them occasionally and then put them back in the box. I can't say I have one regret that towers over the others though.
My real-life villain ... The bankers who are walking away from the recession with huge bonuses and no feelings of responsibility for those whose lives have been changed, sometimes dramatically, by their pursuit of greed and the politicians who are allowing it to happen and whose only strategy is to hammer ordinary people with increasing burdens of taxation.
The person who really makes me laugh is ... Keith.
The last time I cried ... was on Mother's Day because I wasn't going to hear from Hugh but, in my head, I could hear him saying 'Love you, Mum' as he always used to do when he ended a phone conversation.
My five-year plan ... To do my supervision training, which starts in May, finish my Mental Health diploma and later on, do some Neuro-Linguistic Programming training.
What's the point? Life is for living and I want make good use of whatever time is left to me, doing things that I want to do and spending time with those who are important to me.
My life in six words ...Fulfilling, ups and downs, sometimes sad.

Now it's your turn.

How apt!

Seen on the car in front of me on my way back from town this morning:

I'm not drunk

I'm just avoiding potholes.