How apt!

Seen on the car in front of me on my way back from town this morning:

I'm not drunk

I'm just avoiding potholes.

A strange call

My mobile range this afternoon and I answered it.
"Is that Jenny *********?" "Yes."
"Do you provide counselling in the north Wales area?" asked the Yorkshire accented, male voice.
I sighed. Not a potential client, then.
"Are you ringing me to sell me advertising space?" I said.
"No." (Did I detect a hint of  innocent outrage?) "Why would you think that?"
(Could it actually be a potential client after all?
"Well," I said, "I have been getting a lot of that type of call lately and the way you began the call made me think that this was another one. If it isn't, then I do apologise."
"I'm not sure what's going on here," came the muttered response.
"Are you ringing to ask about counselling, then?" I asked.
Silence, then "Oh, I think I'd better ring you back later." Needless to say, he didn't.
So, there I was, beating myself up good style, bemoaning the possibility that I had let the counselling profession down and this man would be going away totally disillusioned, but Keith was on the computer, googling the number. Sure enough, up it came, the exact number, with accompanying warnings that this was a number not to be answered or to be blocked as it was someone targeting small businesses and pretending to be from an organisation such as BT with the aim of persuading them to part with their money like this
Phew! No need to hang my head in shame, then.

Stagger back in amazement

Downstairs I came and into the living room in my new outfit. Keith looked up and registered..........
nothing.
"Do I look OK?" I asked casually.
"Er, yes," was the cautious reply. He was obviously suspecting a well laid trap.
"I think you ought to take a bit more notice," I said severely. "I could come down here wearing a black bin bag and you wouldn't notice."
"Oh, I would," Keith assured me, a little as though he were trying to convince himself.
I need to take a leaf out of Hyacinth Bucket's book, I thought.

"I'm going to come in again,"I said, "and I want you to stagger back in amazement, you know, like in Hyacinth Bucket."
"I can't stagger anywhere," he said in alarm, cringing in his chair.
"Well, just do the amazement bit, then," I said.
He tried.
"Oh, er, lovely, that looks REALLY nice."
The man needs practice...

A Mother's Story: Mother's Day

A Mother's Story: Mother's Day

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all for whom it is applicable. I have just received two beautiful bouquets from my two daughters, as you can see here.

It means a lot to me that, in spite of their busy lives and daily pressures, they still remember these 'special' days. Thanks, girls! :)

A grand day out - not

"What are we doing on Saturday?" asked Keith this evening. Such is our overcrowded and hectic social schedule that it took me all of a millisecond to answer.
"Nothing," I said.
So the upshot is that he has decided he absolutely must go to the Institute of Certified Locksmiths' security exhibition in Nottingham.
"Would you like to come?" he asked hopefully.
I tried to look enthusiastic.
"It will be bigger than the one we went to in Telford," he said, persuasively.
Try as I might, I just couldn't regard that as a selling point.
"Do I have to?" I said eventually.
He took pity on me. "No, of course not," he said.
So that's OK. I can get on with chewing glass.
Well, which would you rather do?

The nicest way to lose weight.

Looking to lose a few pounds, girls? Look no further. The answer is right here! All we need to do is top up on the vin rouge and knock back a couple of glasses each evening, when you've kicked off your shoes and are relaxing in front of the tv.
Job done, problem solved.
Iechyd da, everyone!