Stagger back in amazement

Downstairs I came and into the living room in my new outfit. Keith looked up and registered..........
nothing.
"Do I look OK?" I asked casually.
"Er, yes," was the cautious reply. He was obviously suspecting a well laid trap.
"I think you ought to take a bit more notice," I said severely. "I could come down here wearing a black bin bag and you wouldn't notice."
"Oh, I would," Keith assured me, a little as though he were trying to convince himself.
I need to take a leaf out of Hyacinth Bucket's book, I thought.

"I'm going to come in again,"I said, "and I want you to stagger back in amazement, you know, like in Hyacinth Bucket."
"I can't stagger anywhere," he said in alarm, cringing in his chair.
"Well, just do the amazement bit, then," I said.
He tried.
"Oh, er, lovely, that looks REALLY nice."
The man needs practice...

A Mother's Story: Mother's Day

A Mother's Story: Mother's Day

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all for whom it is applicable. I have just received two beautiful bouquets from my two daughters, as you can see here.

It means a lot to me that, in spite of their busy lives and daily pressures, they still remember these 'special' days. Thanks, girls! :)

A grand day out - not

"What are we doing on Saturday?" asked Keith this evening. Such is our overcrowded and hectic social schedule that it took me all of a millisecond to answer.
"Nothing," I said.
So the upshot is that he has decided he absolutely must go to the Institute of Certified Locksmiths' security exhibition in Nottingham.
"Would you like to come?" he asked hopefully.
I tried to look enthusiastic.
"It will be bigger than the one we went to in Telford," he said, persuasively.
Try as I might, I just couldn't regard that as a selling point.
"Do I have to?" I said eventually.
He took pity on me. "No, of course not," he said.
So that's OK. I can get on with chewing glass.
Well, which would you rather do?

The nicest way to lose weight.

Looking to lose a few pounds, girls? Look no further. The answer is right here! All we need to do is top up on the vin rouge and knock back a couple of glasses each evening, when you've kicked off your shoes and are relaxing in front of the tv.
Job done, problem solved.
Iechyd da, everyone!

Pssst! It's not going well!

The Jaguar is still not well. Several sensors have been changed, as have the fuel filter and plugs but it still hasn't recovered. Keith and Giles have spent several hours out in the garden giving it TLC and even Paddy was anxious to join them, leaning his paws on the open bonnet, peering into the car's entrails. And before you ask, he didn't come up with a solution either.

So, it's back to the drawing board and the head scratching and I am still not going to get my garden back any time soon.

Paddy's walks

We haven't had a visit from Amanda (dog trainer) since December, mainly because, for most of that time, the weather was such that going for walks was more a case of an endurance test than a pleasant way of spending time, but we have continued with our exercises, even in the days of snow. Paddy doesn't pull on the lead nearly as much now, although he does sneakily try to get ahead of me and veer across my path if I'm not careful.

What I can't understand, though, is why he still barks and lunges at some dogs (albeit not aggressively) and yet is so much calmer and well behaved with others, even within the same walk. Today, we passed about four dogs and he was perfectly well behaved with each of them but then we met a man, whom we often pass, who has two beautifully behaved border collies. So well behaved are they that they are quite happy to stand or even sit to one side on command whilst we rampage our way past, but of course, that wasn't good enough for Paddy today. No, he had to lunge at them and bark madly as if he were a complete idiot...

which, it seems, he is!