Female heating

Being of that age where I suffer from what I like to refer to as my 'personal central heating', I was complaining mildly about it last night, which got Keith into divergent thinking mode.
"What we need," he mused, " is to be able to harness all that heat and put it to good use."
"Really?"
"Oh yes. We could encase women in rubber tubing."
"Yes, that would really help to cool us down," I interrupted sarcastically.
"No," he said, patiently, "The point is to make use of the heat generated. It could be converted into electricity and you could have cold water pumped through the tubing and it would come out at the other end as hot water."
Very green and eco-friendly. I just hope there are no politicians reading this.

Shopping

Sainsbury's is the supermarket closest to me. I have tried others, including the so-called discount supermarkets, but I can't get the final bill any lower wherever I go, so I save on petrol and stick with Sansbury's. One of the good things about it is that they offer to pack your shopping for you. At least they used to, but it hasn't happened for weeks now. Sometimes, if I'm feeling like being 'awkward' I ask them to give me a hand with it. Often, I just grit my teeth and get on with it myself. Someone I know told me recently that, if no help is forthcoming, he innocently says, "Would you like me to help you pack my shopping?" but I haven't had the nerve to try that one yet.
Today, as usual, I was shoving shopping into my bags when the assistant asked me if I would like her to slow down a bit.
"No thanks," I said, "But is it not the policy here to offer help with packing the shopping any more?"
She had the grace to look a little uneasy.
"Oh yes," she replied. "I helped a lady with her shopping earlier."
I didn't ask her what disqualified me from being offered help but as I left, I heard her ask the next customer if she would like some help with her packing.
Obviously, I just give the impression of being far too capable!
Next week, I'm going to try my friend's approach!

In the doghouse

Things are not going too well for me today. Let's face it, I am doing my best to curb the 'high cat-chase instinct' that the Refuge said I have. I don't try to throw myself through the window when I see one of the pesky creatures any more and only occasionally do I get tangled up in the blind, and that's only when they flaunt themselves right outside the window... But today, when we went for our walk, I almost managed to get one! In fact, I missed a mouthful of fur by inches, which was probably just as well or I would have been in even more trouble.
Then I was taken on the field on my long lead. I'm not trusted to go without a lead in case I don't come back when called, which I really think is a bit unfair, but anyway, we had a nice wander around and we were just on our way back to the gateway when a spaniel bounded up to me, so we started doing the old sniff'n smell routine when suddenly, I noticed a very nice looking golden laborador passing by. Definitely worth further investigation, I thought. "Go for it!" I thought, and I did. Well, was it my fault that I charged off so quickly that I dragged the end of the lead out of Jenny's hand? First I knew was her shouting at me to come back but by then, the lab. and I were 'getting friendly' - you know what I mean, I'm sure. Mind you, I think the enthusiasm was all on my side, but anyway, I didn't have much time to find out as I was grabbed by Jenny and hauled back home.
She's definitely not happy with me.
I take it a chewstick for being good on my walk is out of the question?
Hmm, thought so. :(

Happy Easter

This morning, Paddy and I have been for an hour-long walk. I took this photo to show you how lovely and blue the sky is up here in north Wales. You see, it doesn't always rain here!

Happy Easter, everyone!

A youthful addition

Dad was showing me the booklet containing information about activities for 'senior citizens' in his area.
"Well, there are two dance classes," I said, "and a keep-fit class."
"Yes, but it's all pensioners," he complained. (This is the 86 year old man who still sees himself as an 18 year old.)
"Well, maybe you should join then," I said, "and inject some youth into the group."

Caravan Heaven?

Today, everyone in the universe had decided to set off down the M5 in their caravans/campervans. The lorries, trucks and tankers, becoming impatient, relentlessly played their leapfrog game, thus continually clogging up the middle lane, which in turn meant that the outside lane was full of cars and everyone was fed up and wishing they had stayed at home.

Happy days!

Almost!

I came down this morning to let Paddy out to do what dogs have to do. These days I make sure I glance out of the windows to check if there are any cats or squirrels around before letting him loose, but this morning, I must have had my eyes closed. Almost before I had opened the door, he was at the bottom of the garden and a terrified, but very speedily reacting squirrel had leapt for safety onto the bottom fence and made a hasty exit. At the same time, an equally terrified wood pigeon, who had inadvertently been caught up in the whole episode, was quivering on the other fence, obviously wondering if the world had suddenly come to an end.

Deprived of his prey, Paddy then began jumping at the fence in an attempt to demolish it by sheer force, until I had legged it over the lawn, still in dressing gown, grabbed his collar and pushed him back into the house. At this point, reality must have dawned that he was 'In Trouble', so his attempt at damage limitation was to saunter nonchalantly into the living room, place his head on Keith's knee and look innocent.

"It wasn't me, gov, it was some other dog out there. Definitely not me - honest!"