Talking flowerbeds
The excerpt below is part of this interesting story from the Guardian. I should imagine that, even if you had no mental disorder, this experience might make you question whether it was time to throw in the towel. George Orwell, eat your heart out!
Even the begonias are puritans now.
When even flowerbeds start to order us around, the guardians of our well-being have lost the plot.
Nick Cohen Sunday August 19, 2007 The Observer
Last week, a young NHS psychiatrist, who blogs under the pseudonym Shiny Happy Person, described how she 'was just taking five minutes out, enjoying the sunshine in the surprisingly pleasant grounds of my new hospital, when the flowerbed spoke to me'.
She went on to reassure her readers: 'No, I'm not neuroleptic-deficient. Other people heard it too. One moment, all was quiet and the next a disembodied voice was bellowing from somewhere in the vicinity of the begonias. Strictly speaking, it wasn't actually addressing me and I know this because it said, "This is a no-smoking area. Please put your cigarette out. A member of staff has been informed." I gave up smoking six weeks ago. But, really, how Orwellian is that?
'The smokers looked understandably alarmed, glanced furtively around and then scarpered. I can't help questioning the wisdom of installing a talking flowerbed to tell people off in the grounds of a psychiatric hospital, of all places.'
One of the many difficulties in reporting on the NHS is that doctors cannot speak freely about the idiocies of their managers. Threats of dismissal mean I can't identify the junior psychiatrist or say where she works. But it is on the record that hospitals have banned smoking and some, such as the University Hospitals Coventry and Warwickshire Trust, have put smoke alarms outdoors to catch patients who nip outside for a quick fag.
The makers of a new generation of alarms say their trade doesn't stop with the NHS. They are doing good business with local authorities, drug rehabilitation centres and government departments. Their Cig-Arrete (geddit?) detector provides 'a visual and audible re-enforcement of your commitment to creating a smoke-free environment'.
Sensors pick up the whiff of illicit smoke and a voice cries: 'This is a no- smoking area. Please extinguish your cigarette. A member of staff has been contacted.' Which sounds very like what Shiny Happy Person said she heard.
You might think there's nothing wrong with alarms blaring out threats when smoking is the biggest cause of preventable death. But then it's not illegal to smoke in hospital grounds or any other open space. NHS managers are going way beyond the law and not thinking about the likely effects on the mentally ill of having flowerbeds shout at them when they do it.
Even the begonias are puritans now.
When even flowerbeds start to order us around, the guardians of our well-being have lost the plot.
Nick Cohen Sunday August 19, 2007 The Observer
Last week, a young NHS psychiatrist, who blogs under the pseudonym Shiny Happy Person, described how she 'was just taking five minutes out, enjoying the sunshine in the surprisingly pleasant grounds of my new hospital, when the flowerbed spoke to me'.
She went on to reassure her readers: 'No, I'm not neuroleptic-deficient. Other people heard it too. One moment, all was quiet and the next a disembodied voice was bellowing from somewhere in the vicinity of the begonias. Strictly speaking, it wasn't actually addressing me and I know this because it said, "This is a no-smoking area. Please put your cigarette out. A member of staff has been informed." I gave up smoking six weeks ago. But, really, how Orwellian is that?
'The smokers looked understandably alarmed, glanced furtively around and then scarpered. I can't help questioning the wisdom of installing a talking flowerbed to tell people off in the grounds of a psychiatric hospital, of all places.'
One of the many difficulties in reporting on the NHS is that doctors cannot speak freely about the idiocies of their managers. Threats of dismissal mean I can't identify the junior psychiatrist or say where she works. But it is on the record that hospitals have banned smoking and some, such as the University Hospitals Coventry and Warwickshire Trust, have put smoke alarms outdoors to catch patients who nip outside for a quick fag.
The makers of a new generation of alarms say their trade doesn't stop with the NHS. They are doing good business with local authorities, drug rehabilitation centres and government departments. Their Cig-Arrete (geddit?) detector provides 'a visual and audible re-enforcement of your commitment to creating a smoke-free environment'.
Sensors pick up the whiff of illicit smoke and a voice cries: 'This is a no- smoking area. Please extinguish your cigarette. A member of staff has been contacted.' Which sounds very like what Shiny Happy Person said she heard.
You might think there's nothing wrong with alarms blaring out threats when smoking is the biggest cause of preventable death. But then it's not illegal to smoke in hospital grounds or any other open space. NHS managers are going way beyond the law and not thinking about the likely effects on the mentally ill of having flowerbeds shout at them when they do it.
Monday morning
On Friday evening, the two lads who were working on the base disappeared, leaving the hose and extension lead still attached in the kitchen and stretching right across the patio doors. I managed to get the hose tidied up by taking one end and walking round the wet concrete to the window and then rolling it up. When it came to the extension lead, it wasn't quite long enough to walk round with it, so divergent thinking was called for.
Back in the kitchen, I unplugged it, then climbed out of the kitchen window, (one half of the window on the left of the picture) plug in hand, and walked round to the gates so that I could roll it up. Sounds complicated? Just a bit.
Retirement Rocks!
I've just discovered this very interesting and entertaining blog called Retirement Rocks where 'Silverback' has written a post about his trip to Knaresborough and has posted some lovely photos. (OK it's Yorkshire, but it's only Sheffield City Council that I've fallen out with!)
And he's retired - I'm sooo jealous. ;)
And he's retired - I'm sooo jealous. ;)
Welcome to Sheffield!
Well, having just threatened to go and sort out good old Yorkshire Pudding for supporting male chauvinist pigs, by going over to Sheffield, on second thoughts, maybe I won't. We did go to Sheffield in July to see Elder Daughter for the day. Younger Daughter, Elder Son and his children were there too, so we had a very enjoyable day. However, we did have a few problems getting to her house, even with the GPS because several roads were closed, presumably becaue of the floods Sheffield had suffered a couple of weeks before and there was little advance notice each time, which necessitated a lot of turning around and 'doing a uey' as Keith likes to say, especially as, each time we were approaching a closed road and I informed him, he decided to press ahead anyway, just in case it was open after all. (Another MCP?)
But our main problem, although we were unaware of it at the time, was that, on our way home, again negotiating a different-from-usual route, we apparently commited the heinous crime of...wait for it...Driving In A Bus Lane!!!
Obviously there were no buses anywhere in sight, otherwise we would not have been in the bus lane and, being unfamiliar with the area, neither of us noticed any signs telling us not to drive in it. All immaterial as far as Sheffield City Council are concerned, as they have sent us a penalty notice and a fine of £30.
Unfortunately, if the fine is not paid within 14 days, it then increases to £60 and, of course, the notice came while we were away, which means that we have to pay £60.
So it will be a long time before we venture into Sheffeld again!
But our main problem, although we were unaware of it at the time, was that, on our way home, again negotiating a different-from-usual route, we apparently commited the heinous crime of...wait for it...Driving In A Bus Lane!!!
Obviously there were no buses anywhere in sight, otherwise we would not have been in the bus lane and, being unfamiliar with the area, neither of us noticed any signs telling us not to drive in it. All immaterial as far as Sheffield City Council are concerned, as they have sent us a penalty notice and a fine of £30.
Unfortunately, if the fine is not paid within 14 days, it then increases to £60 and, of course, the notice came while we were away, which means that we have to pay £60.
So it will be a long time before we venture into Sheffeld again!
TK again
A new contribution from TK. You may have seen them before but I hadn't, so enjoy.
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. I may be a little moody so be prepared.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor's having my brain removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 18/4. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as "Sharon" instead of "Steve".
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. I may be a little moody so be prepared.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor's having my brain removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 18/4. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as "Sharon" instead of "Steve".
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