Moped chase? Sorry, sir.

Because I rarely manage to sleep through the night without waking at least once, the radio stays on till morning, Radio 4 giving way to the World Service and then back to Radio 4 again in the early morning, so it often happens that I hear snippets of news just before 'getting up' time and being half awake and still half asleep, I often wonder if I have heard accurately.
This morning was a case in point.
The news item was about an 18 year old boy who, on hearing someone start up his moped with a view to disappearing with it, rang the police. Give them their due, they arrived just as the said moped was speeding down the road with its three occupants. How you get three people on a moped is a similar problem to fitting 4 elephants in a mini, I would have thought, (two in the front and two in the back, in case you didn't know) but that's by the by. The problem, as far as the police were concerned, was that the thieves were not wearing helmets. Understandable, I suppose. You're strolling down the road and you happen to come across an unattended moped which would seem to provide the ideal transport home, if a little short on leg room, and it's unlikely that you had the forethought to bring a helmet with you.
However, the absence of helmets posed a problem for the police as they informed the owner that they were terribly sorry but they couldn't pursue the moped because, should one of its occupants fall off and injure himself, he might sue them!
You couldn't make it up!

Health and Safety

There was an item on the news this morning which I half heard, about a disgruntled tenant partially dismantling a house and wrecking two cars. The police were unable to prevent him from doing this and had to wait until the fire brigade arrived.
"Surely they could have done something?" I protested.
"Well, he was in a JCB," said Keith, "so I don't suppose they were about to jump on that."
No, I suppose not. Especially when I remembered a conversation I had with the local police a few years ago about vandalism during which I was informed that if the front gate was locked, the local constabulary were not about to climb over the fence, which was all of four feet high, in order to get onto the premises.
"Health and safety, you see," I was told.
So I presume they just stood back and let him get on with it then.

Chasing jobs

I visited a local school this week with a view to applying for a job they had advertised. I've been doing a lot of this lately. If the advert says, 'Visits to the school are welcome' it's as well to comply, otherwise your application isn't even considered, but it all takes time.
This one, like the others, is a pleasant enough school. There were eleven of us on the tour. There had been a dozen more the day before. While we were waiting, the talk was of other jobs applied for.
"Did you hear anything from ******* school?"
"No, but I believe they had 63 applications."
Not unusual these days. In Wales particularly, the numbers of newly graduating teachers is far in excess of the jobs available, and that's before you consider the 'oldies' like me. So much for the government's much trumpeted assurances a couple of years ago about addressing the shortage of teachers. Seems someone did their sums wrong and didn't take the falling birthrate into account.
The tour concluded with the headteacher saying that the shortlisted candidates for this 12 month contract (not a permanent job) would be asked to come in and teach for an hour one day and then be recalled for interview the next. All well and good, except that at this time of year, any applicants are going to be newly qualified teachers who are doing a few weeks supply before the end of term or supply teachers per se, which means possibly turning down two days work for a job that only one of them is going to be offered.
Oh, and that's apart from the fact that the successful applicant will be joining her new colleagues in doing two lots of planning - one in keeping with the present curriculum and one for the way they are actually teaching, which follows the draft Foundation Stage. The reason for this is that the new Foundation Stage will not be fully established until 2008, so in the event of an inspection, the school will be expected to be planning and teaching in line with the present curriculum.
Nothing changes!

Update

Keith has had the pin out of his foot and I collected him at 2 o'clock yesterday. He had threatened to drive himself but I talked him out of that one.
However, as I disappeared at three o'clock to keep an appointment of my own, off he went to the shop for the rest of the afternoon. You can't keep a good man down!
The wheelchair has been jettisoned and I'm sure the crutches will follow as soon as possible - and of course, he can now access the kitchen and all the crisps and cakes he can find....

The day of reckoning

Tomorrow is P day. It is the day Keith goes back to hospital to get the pin removed from his ankle. For the benefit of new readers, Keith broke his ankle on ice at the beginning of March. Being a conscientious sort of chap, he did it properly - a complicated break in three places, which, for various reasons, needed a pin inserting through the base of his foot, to remain in place only until the bones were healed.
So, after weeks and months of hobbling around on crutches and cruising around in a wheelchair, the pin is now about to be taken out. He'll still have to wear his 'moonboot' for a bit longer, but at least will be able to put his foot to the ground.

Just as well, really. He is getting a bit fed up with my 'Ah, Jim lad......pieces of eight' impressions.

Father's Day

I sent Dad a Father's Day card during the week and, as he is a steam enthusiast, I was pleased to have found a card with a train on it (sorry - engine!).
This was his emailed response this morning:

Thank you for your card which came in the week but was left until this morning. It is a 4-6-4 loco as far as can be seen through the steam with a Westinghouse air compessor just in front of the cab with the 50 feet of air cooling pipe in front again. The safety valves are lifting and the cylinder cocks are open so it is ready to move.
I don't know the driver's name.

You see, it's important to get the details right!

Time and tide...

Comments heard from Younger Daughter this morning as she glanced over a job application I had left on the dining room table:
"You were at college when???" (As in, "Did they even have college in those days?")
"Ohhh, things have changed a bit since then, Mum."

I think I knew that, thank you!
This will be you one day, Sunshine!