Overheard - a short conversation in 'my' Reception class this morning:
One of the children was scratching her leg.
Classroom support Assistant: What's the matter A*****? Have your hurt your leg?
A*****: No, I've just got sensible skin.
Men beware!
Just received this from TK and had to share it. Male readers please take note!
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when theywere younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.My name is Bob. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Maria. When I took "early retirement" last year, it became necessary for Maria to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginningto show her age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed. Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (ifyou know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points. When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice,big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Maria. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.....
Signed,Bob
EDITOR'S NOTE: Bob died suddenly on May 27th. The police report says that he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golfclub rammed up his ass, with only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife Maria was arrested and charged with murder: however, the all-woman jury found her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that he 'accidentally' sat down on it very suddenly.
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when theywere younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.My name is Bob. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Maria. When I took "early retirement" last year, it became necessary for Maria to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginningto show her age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed. Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (ifyou know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points. When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice,big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Maria. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.....
Signed,Bob
EDITOR'S NOTE: Bob died suddenly on May 27th. The police report says that he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golfclub rammed up his ass, with only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife Maria was arrested and charged with murder: however, the all-woman jury found her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that he 'accidentally' sat down on it very suddenly.
Mid life crisis?
This dropped into my inbox just now from TK who had it from a friend in USA. I refuse to relate to any of it!!!!
I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is agreat time for women.Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be... Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate.
Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.
In mid-life women no longer have upper arms,we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.
Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.
Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top andscream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too."
Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sittingon our biggest ones.
Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks?"
In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retainis water.Mid -life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally --more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.Mid-life means that you become more reflective...You start pondering the"big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?
But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!
I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is agreat time for women.Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be... Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate.
Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.
In mid-life women no longer have upper arms,we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.
Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.
Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top andscream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too."
Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sittingon our biggest ones.
Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks?"
In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retainis water.Mid -life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally --more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.Mid-life means that you become more reflective...You start pondering the"big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?
But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!
A visitor
Today and tomorrow we have a little visitor. Unfortunately, this time there is no Lucy to play with.
This week
This week, contrary to all expectations for the first week of a new term, I have had a full 5 days of supply in a lovely school in Cheshire. The class? 24 Reception children - well behaved, intelligent, motivated - a class to die for! And there's a possibility of a couple more days next week.
So that's the reason for my silence - preparation and exhaustion.
Well, a bit tired by the end of the day, anyway. But there'll be some money in the bank for April, which is nice.
So that's the reason for my silence - preparation and exhaustion.
Well, a bit tired by the end of the day, anyway. But there'll be some money in the bank for April, which is nice.
Latest update
On Sunday Keith took advantage of my absence on my course to remodel his thigh length plaster into a knee length plaster. Yes, he has cut the top part off so that he can bend his knee.
On Thursday he has to go back to the hospital to face the music!
On Thursday he has to go back to the hospital to face the music!
Busy again
Busy with school preparation at the moment, so here is a little offering from TK to keep you going.
A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the EasterBunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately therabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place. Candy, too. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulledover to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to hisdismay, the colorful Bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty and began to cry. A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side ofthe road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunnyand killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?" The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked overto the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal. Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked upthe spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away theEaster Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50yards and waved again! The man was astonished. He said to the woman, "What in heaven's name is in your spray can? Whatwas it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?" The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."
A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the EasterBunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately therabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place. Candy, too. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulledover to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to hisdismay, the colorful Bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty and began to cry. A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side ofthe road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunnyand killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?" The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked overto the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal. Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked upthe spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away theEaster Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50yards and waved again! The man was astonished. He said to the woman, "What in heaven's name is in your spray can? Whatwas it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?" The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."
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