Cancel that - I've just sorted it (except the title seems to be too far up).
One day - maybe - I'll actually know what I'm doing! :)
Done it again!
NaNoWriMo kept me out of trouble. While I was doing that, I didn't have time to mess about with my template. But this morning, I've twiddled and tweaked and don't know what I've done but I've messed it up again!
Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible. In the meantime, any suggestions will be gratefully received.
(I think I feel another template coming on!)
Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible. In the meantime, any suggestions will be gratefully received.
(I think I feel another template coming on!)
Something to smile at
Another little gem from T.K.
This is for all of you who have heard the baseball one of "Who's on first!"
Lou Costello Tries to Buy a Computer from Bud Abbott
ABBOTT (behind the counter at: Super Duper computer store): Can I help
you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets just
say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type my proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some
straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If its a long movie I also want to see reel 2. 3 & 4. Can I
watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great, with what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO; OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1."
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1."
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "W"?
ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows!"
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty
much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial
bookkeeping, you have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off??
ABBOTT: Click on "START".........
This is for all of you who have heard the baseball one of "Who's on first!"
Lou Costello Tries to Buy a Computer from Bud Abbott
ABBOTT (behind the counter at: Super Duper computer store): Can I help
you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets just
say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type my proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some
straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If its a long movie I also want to see reel 2. 3 & 4. Can I
watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great, with what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO; OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1."
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1."
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "W"?
ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows!"
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty
much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial
bookkeeping, you have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off??
ABBOTT: Click on "START".........
Keyboards with legs
I sold a new keyboard to a customer yesterday morning and he went off quite happily with it. Half an hour later, the phone rang. It was my customer:
Hello. I've just set my keyboard up with my computer but it's wobbling. I can't get it level at all.
Hello. I've just set my keyboard up with my computer but it's wobbling. I can't get it level at all.
It should have 2 little legs at the back which you pull out so that it stays level.
No, I've looked. There's nothing like that. I'll have to bring it back. Wait a minute. I'll just go upstairs and have another look.
(I wait on the phone for the next few minutes.)
Hello? Yes, actually there are two legs to pull out. I didn't see them before. It' fine now.
All in a day's work. Remember my idea about passing a test before being allowed to have a computer? Seems like a good idea. :)
Now what?
Well, the novel is finished, uploaded and word-counted and I've got the certificate to prove it. After a month of typing away every spare minute, I don't have to do that any more. It feels a bit odd now. I've got that unfamiliar thing called 'spare time' - not a lot, but more than in the past 30 days. So what should I do with it?
- Start playing about with my blog template again? That can take hours!
- Do some housework - if I can remember where the hoover is.
- Write some Christmas cards - have to be in the mood for that.
- Do some Christmas shopping - now although it's almost December, I just haven't been able to psych myself up for that.
- Catch up with reading other people's blogs - yes, I've already started doing that.
- Read - good idea.
- All of the above. That should keep me going until Christmas anyway!
The end is nigh
Only about 1000 words to go before I clock up my 50,000 words for NaNoWriMo! What on earth shall I do with myself after Tuesday!!
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