For those of us still around who observe the increasingly ridiculous attempts of the 'powers that be' in their manic attempts to control our lives with growing disbelief, have a look at this. You'll never eat sausages in the same light-hearted manner again - and if you're a fox or a smoker, be afraid, be very afraid.......unless you're both - then you're safe.
NHS employees roll up!
This week-end we are having a 10% off weekend for all who work in the N.H.S. around the area, which means that anything they buy, provided they have proof of where they work, they will get a 10% discount. So, as I said to Keith this morning, it's all hands to the deck this week-end, ready to cope with the queues of NHS employees all waving their stethoscopes and clamouring to spend their money with us.
So, a busy week-end ahead?
Not if it's anything like last week-end, which was a 10% off deal for all who work in schools around here - and we are talking about a pretty large area and a lot of schools. The total of responses last week-end was - er - none. No, wait - there was one phone call from someone who wanted to know if we had any Sony camcorders. As we don't sell camcorders, that was an easy query to deal with!
Oh well, back to the drawing board. What shall we do next? Dress up as the Incredible Hulk maybe?
(Get in here and buy something or I'll get angry! You won't like it if I get angry!!!) :)
So, a busy week-end ahead?
Not if it's anything like last week-end, which was a 10% off deal for all who work in schools around here - and we are talking about a pretty large area and a lot of schools. The total of responses last week-end was - er - none. No, wait - there was one phone call from someone who wanted to know if we had any Sony camcorders. As we don't sell camcorders, that was an easy query to deal with!
Oh well, back to the drawing board. What shall we do next? Dress up as the Incredible Hulk maybe?
(Get in here and buy something or I'll get angry! You won't like it if I get angry!!!) :)
The other side of the coin
Today we did a computer software fair at a local primary school and met some very pleasant, hard working, committed teachers and an especially nice headteacher, which made a very welcome change from our experiences yesterday. (Sorry, I forgot - that was only a fairy story!)
The wide variety of atmosphere and ethos in schools always intrigues me. You can usually get a good idea of what a school is like as soon as you go into the building. The common giveaways are the attitude of the secretary and headteacher, the friendliness or otherwise of staff as they pass you by on the way to wherever and, very importantly, the behaviour and attitude of the children.
There are schools which are like an educational version of the Ideal Homes Exhibition, which look very impressive but give the impression that everything is there for effect and the children have very little to do with it and, at the other end of the scale, there are those which have that 'lived in' look but are very 'hands on.'
Today's school was the latter, an old Victorian building, not very well maintained and definitely with a lived in look, but the staff were friendly and determined to make our visit as much of a success as they could. The headteacher made coffee for us when we arrived to set up - how impressive is that?
If I were still teaching, that is one school I would be happy to work in.
The wide variety of atmosphere and ethos in schools always intrigues me. You can usually get a good idea of what a school is like as soon as you go into the building. The common giveaways are the attitude of the secretary and headteacher, the friendliness or otherwise of staff as they pass you by on the way to wherever and, very importantly, the behaviour and attitude of the children.
There are schools which are like an educational version of the Ideal Homes Exhibition, which look very impressive but give the impression that everything is there for effect and the children have very little to do with it and, at the other end of the scale, there are those which have that 'lived in' look but are very 'hands on.'
Today's school was the latter, an old Victorian building, not very well maintained and definitely with a lived in look, but the staff were friendly and determined to make our visit as much of a success as they could. The headteacher made coffee for us when we arrived to set up - how impressive is that?
If I were still teaching, that is one school I would be happy to work in.
And the Most Awkward Customer Award winner this week is........
Once upon a time, there was a computer shop (Nothing to do with ours, a purely imaginary one) which also did repairs. One day a woman rang up (I will not dignify her with the title of lady) saying that she had bought a modem to fit in a computer (a long time ago, although she did not say this) and found it didn't work so she wanted to bring it back. When the shop lady said it would have to be tested to see whether it was faulty, she said, "Well, I'm not paying because when I brought my computer in to be repaired, someone charged me £10 so I took it home and vowed never to come to your shop again, and I haven't until now."
So the woman brought in the computer, which, the technician discovered, was trying to run Windows XP on only 128mb Ram which, as you will all know, is pushing it to say the least! When this was pointed out to the customer, she lost her temper and said that the technician was making excuses and was not a professional and didn't want to sort out the problem of the modem and, furthermore, had been very rude to her. She turned red in the face and stamped her foot. At this, the technician's fairy godmother became very angry with the customer and suggested that maybe her attitude was not helping (or words to that effect!). The customer called her a 'stupid, f............ cow' and stamped her foot again and demanded her computer back. By now there were two more customers in the shop and she shouted at them too.
I would like to end this story by reporting that both the customer and her computer were forcibly ejected from the shop, but I can't because the people who work there are too nice to do that. Mind you, if the fairy godmother comes face to face with her again in the near future, there is no saying what might happen.................. Watch this space!!
So the woman brought in the computer, which, the technician discovered, was trying to run Windows XP on only 128mb Ram which, as you will all know, is pushing it to say the least! When this was pointed out to the customer, she lost her temper and said that the technician was making excuses and was not a professional and didn't want to sort out the problem of the modem and, furthermore, had been very rude to her. She turned red in the face and stamped her foot. At this, the technician's fairy godmother became very angry with the customer and suggested that maybe her attitude was not helping (or words to that effect!). The customer called her a 'stupid, f............ cow' and stamped her foot again and demanded her computer back. By now there were two more customers in the shop and she shouted at them too.
I would like to end this story by reporting that both the customer and her computer were forcibly ejected from the shop, but I can't because the people who work there are too nice to do that. Mind you, if the fairy godmother comes face to face with her again in the near future, there is no saying what might happen.................. Watch this space!!
Feeling your age?
For those of us 'in the prime of life' - (you know who you are!) This came to me from Dale in Canada.
Some of the artists from the '60s , 70's, 80's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate us aging baby boomers. This is good news for "those feeling a little older" and missing those great old tunes.
Herman's Hermits
"MRS. BROWN, YOU'VE GOT A LOVELY WALKER"
The Bee Gees
"HOW CAN YOU MEND A BROKEN HIP"
Bobby Darin
"SPLISH, SPLASH, I WAS HAVIN' A FLASH"
Ringo Starr
"I GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM DEPENDS"
Roberta Flack
"THE FIRST TIME EVER I FORGOT YOUR FACE"
Johnny Nash
"I CAN'T SEE CLEARLY NOW"
Paul Simon
"FIFTY WAYS TO LOSE YOUR LIVER"
Commodores
"ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES TO THE BATHROOM"
Marvin Gaye
"I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPE NUTS"
Procol Harem
"A WHITER SHADE OF HAIR"
Leo Sayer
"YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE NAPPING"
The Temptations
"PAPA'S GOT A KIDNEY STONE"
ABBA
"DENTURE QUEEN”
Some of the artists from the '60s , 70's, 80's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate us aging baby boomers. This is good news for "those feeling a little older" and missing those great old tunes.
Herman's Hermits
"MRS. BROWN, YOU'VE GOT A LOVELY WALKER"
The Bee Gees
"HOW CAN YOU MEND A BROKEN HIP"
Bobby Darin
"SPLISH, SPLASH, I WAS HAVIN' A FLASH"
Ringo Starr
"I GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM DEPENDS"
Roberta Flack
"THE FIRST TIME EVER I FORGOT YOUR FACE"
Johnny Nash
"I CAN'T SEE CLEARLY NOW"
Paul Simon
"FIFTY WAYS TO LOSE YOUR LIVER"
Commodores
"ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES TO THE BATHROOM"
Marvin Gaye
"I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPE NUTS"
Procol Harem
"A WHITER SHADE OF HAIR"
Leo Sayer
"YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE NAPPING"
The Temptations
"PAPA'S GOT A KIDNEY STONE"
ABBA
"DENTURE QUEEN”
Wine on keyboards (2)
Keith would like me to inform everyone that, owing to the fact that the wine he threw all over the keyboard was the last of the bottle and he hates seeing wine go to waste anyway, he has spent the last few days desperately sucking the residue from between the keys! (In case you are getting worried - i am joking!)
However, the new keyboard - which is much nicer to use - came in a box! Yes, you've guessed it. Said box is now in pride of place on top of the music centre! The excuse? Well, it happens to be the same size as the surface area of the music centre plus its speakers. You see, there is method in his madness! :)
However, the new keyboard - which is much nicer to use - came in a box! Yes, you've guessed it. Said box is now in pride of place on top of the music centre! The excuse? Well, it happens to be the same size as the surface area of the music centre plus its speakers. You see, there is method in his madness! :)
Lunch anyone?
Every morning at 11.20am precisely, Keith looks at his Starship Enterprise clock in the shop and starts to make 'food' signals which is my cue to ask what everyone wants for their lunch. Being the 'junior' it is usually my task to pop round to KwikSave and browse the delicatessen counter in search of what Keith normally calls 'jubbly bits' - in other words, his lunch!
Doing this on a daily basis means it sometimes becomes a little difficult to ring the changes, but tonight, I have the answer, thoughtfully provided by Michael Palin in his current Sunday evening programme Himalayas with Michael Palin. He has just mentioned having 'dried yak buttock' for breakfast!
So there we are - when anyone decides they are bored with what's on offer at the local deli, I shall suggest yak buttock sandwiches.
Mind you, I'm not sure how the girls on Kwik Save's deli counter will react when I ask them for it! On second thoughts, perhaps I am...........
Doing this on a daily basis means it sometimes becomes a little difficult to ring the changes, but tonight, I have the answer, thoughtfully provided by Michael Palin in his current Sunday evening programme Himalayas with Michael Palin. He has just mentioned having 'dried yak buttock' for breakfast!
So there we are - when anyone decides they are bored with what's on offer at the local deli, I shall suggest yak buttock sandwiches.
Mind you, I'm not sure how the girls on Kwik Save's deli counter will react when I ask them for it! On second thoughts, perhaps I am...........
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Plaster board and dust
So, we're still no further forward on the British Gas smart meter front and I've given up making non-existent appointments with them...
-
So, we're still no further forward on the British Gas smart meter front and I've given up making non-existent appointments with them... -
This is the beach at Burbo Bank, Crosby, home of Antony Gormley's cast iron statues, collectively known as 'Another Place'. We... -
Well, we came to an amicable arrangement, quite unplanned as it happened, because Keith got to navigate the car through people's back y...