Positive marketing

When I took the forms and identification into the estate agency, there before me was the young man who had taken the photos and written up the description of our house.
"Was the write up OK, then?" he foolishly enquired.
"Well, actually, it is a bit boring," I said. "We could do with more of an upbeat description, maybe a few 'very attractives', 'viewing highly recommendeds' etc. We do want to sell it after all and in the current climate..."
To his credit, he took it on board, especially after I had assured him that my criticism was 'nothing personal.' So now, it's back to a couple of days intensive housework as Keith has now managed to transform my bureau into a close copy of NASA. I wonder if he might be persuaded to move into the RV for the duration?
Only joking... really!

Desirable residence for sale

Well, the sign is up (Ar werth is Welsh for For Sale) and we have received the other photos and details of the house to check over. This is the information which will be given out in leaflets to anyone who shows an interest in chez Jennyta. Reading through it, I was struck by the mediocrity of the description. 'Damned with faint praise' is the phrase that sprang to mind. Could they not have said, 'Internal viewing strongly reccommended' and scattered a few 'delightfuls' around? I know it's not a country mansion but it's not bad, you know!

The other thing that annoyed me is that the estate agents require sight of, for example, our passports, driving licences, utility bills, bank statements - choose two from the above to prove that we are who we say we are. It's getting to the stage now where we practically have to undergo a CRB check to undertake all but the simplest of operations.

I mean, do we look like squatters???

Car boot sales

Sunday and yesterday were busy. I persuaded Keith that it would be a good idea to sell some of the stock from the shop at a car boot sale, and after he got tired of being nagged, he agreed, so off we set at some unearthly hour to a large local sale. What amazed me was the number of eastern European people around. At one point, I couldn't hear anyone speaking English within earshot. The people on the next pitch to us obviously had Welsh as their first language, the rest were - well, Polish and maybe other eastern European nationalities, but all were polite and courteous and spoke at least some English.
What amazed Keith was that I allowed him to have a bacon, egg and sausage bap - at least on Sunday. When we went back on Monday, I had it all organised, and had made nice, healthy salad sandwiches. Well, no point spending the profits!

The RV comes back home

Today we went back to Telford to collect the RV after it had had the outstanding jobs done on it. It was lovely to see it again - and made me wish we were off on our travels again immediately instead of (hopefully) in late September. Yes, gluttons for punishment, but as Keith said, we can't let the ******* who robbed us get the better of us. I suppose it's a bit like getting back on a horse or a bike after falling off and anyway, we need a fact-finding tour to check out where we want to live when the time comes.
The RV lives at Keith's Dad's house, which is at present being done up, and it is a very snug fit, so the usual practice is to ask Giles to pop over and shout out the relevant instructions for guiding it into the garden. Today however, he was unobtainable, which meant that the whole responsibility fell on the shoulders of yours truly. Two problems:
1. Keith can't hear me when I shout instructions from the rear of the vehicle.
2. I'm not sure what instructions to shout.
I know what I want him to do, but I don't know how to tell him how to do it. For instance, 'left hand down a bit' - does that mean that the wheels will turn left or right and consequently, will the van go left or right? 'Full lock' - well what on earth does that mean?
We managed to get it in without too much trouble but I need to have a set of meaningful instructions to shout out - oh and a megaphone to do it with.

Serrurier, anyone?

A very nice man came to do the energy assessment of the house for the HIP yesterday (that's the Home Information Pack - yet another of the government's 'jobs for the boys' and means of extracting ever more money out of us). As I say, he was very pleasant and even changed into another pair of shoes to come into the house in case he made the floors dirty. Apart from that, he prowled round the outside of the house for a few minutes, counted the radiators, looked at the boiler and stuck his head into the attic space to check on the insulation. Money for old rope, really. I was tempted to ask him if there are any vacancies in his line of work.
Then he told me that the highest score any house can possibly get is about 66% as the system is set up to take account of the years ahead when houses will be ever more energy efficient, but not a lot of people know this. Given that, according to estate agents, very few people bother to read the HIPs anyway, those who do are perhaps not going to be terribly impressed by a reading of 66% or less.
Anyway, to get the the title of this post. Keith is now getting very excited and is wondering about taking his van with him when we go to live in France so that he can carry on with his business. He has spent a few hours this morning searching for auto-locksmiths in France and has not come up with any. I told him the word for locksmith is 'serrurier'. Try saying that after a few glasses of vin rouge and pronouncing the 'r's properly!

It's all going on!

It's been a hectic few days. On Sunday, I decorated the bathroom - yes the whole room in a day, including popping out to buy some nice little colour co-ordinated accessories for the finishing touches. Then there were the paint touch ups around the house, tidying up the garden, chucking a few plants in strategically placed pots and.... the big one, dismantling NASA and putting it in temporary retirement in the shed. Not for nothing am I a fervent desciple of 'House Doctor'!

A busy week

Lots of running around and organising things has been going on this week chez Jennyta. For various reasons, not least of which is 'because we want to,' we have decided that we want to up sticks and move to France; not next week, you understand, but in the not too distant future.
So this week, I have been mainly meeting with estate agents and showing them round our palatial mansion, resulting in an interesting range of reactions and suggested prices.
One wanted us to practically re-decorate the whole house and redesign the front garden for her to take it on board, whilst another quoted a suggested asking price considerably less than the others and hoped I hadn't spent too much on having the conservatory built, with the inference that it would have been a waste of money as regards selling the house. He spent most of his time enthusing about France and telling me about his recent holiday there before apparently realising that he needed to be somewhere else, as he put it 'to ruin someone else's afternoon.' Naturally, we want to sell the house and so are all in favour of a realistic price but we also don't want to give it away!
Anyway, the choice of estate agent has now been made and the HIP (Home Information Pack) ordered and paid for - with gritted teeth - and a programme of touching up, brightening up and tidying up has begun.
Now the good side of this, from my point of view anyway, is that all the estate agents, without exception, suggested that it might be a positive selling point if NASA were no longer commandeering the living room. Now that Keith has his new laptop, a little twist to his arm has persuaded him that the PC can now be moved upstairs to the study to do duty as a server and the living room can finally become a 'proper' living room.
My dream of achieving the minimalist look may at last become a reality!