Life explained

Another little gem from T.K. Rather cynical maybe...............

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind ! of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give! you twenty years."
But man said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," God said. "You asked for it."
So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you

The worst typo in history

Another little gem from T.K.

A new young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the
other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.
He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not
from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to
question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy,
it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all
of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries,
but you make a good point, my son."
So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the
original manuscript is held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been
opened for hundreds of years.
Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.
So, the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him. He
sees him banging his head against the wall, and wailing "We forgot the "R",
We forgot the "R" !"
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.
The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father ?"
With a choking voice, the old abbot replies:
"The word is 'celebrate' ".<

Spring?

Spring seems a long time coming this year. Here we are well into April and the weather forecasters are still making sly references to snow.

Looking carefully this morning, the signs are that maybe it won't be too much longer.

Let there be music!

I just can't stop fiddling. I promised myself, when I came back to Blogger that, this time, I would not continually ruin the template with 'experiements' that didn't work. No, I would keep it simple.
Today, I have added Haloscan comments (see previous post) and now.............ladies and gentlemen, for your delight and delectation..............music!

If you don't like my choice - tough! There is an option to switch it off but it had to be something school-related, didn't it?
And anyway, I like it, so there!

Haloscan comments

For anyone without a Blogger account who wishes to comment on my blog, I have now installed the Haloscan comment system - so you have NO EXCUSE!!! :)

Women's brains

Keith expresses the opinion every now and then that women's brains are smaller and therefore less effective than men's. You may wonder why he is still around to tell the tale (and no, his broken ankle is not the end result!) but we women can rise above such insults. We don't need to let such obvious misapprehensions bother us.
But we can get our own back .................read on!

When Lawrence found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautifulwoman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 5 million pounds."
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much smarter than men.....

Medical Humour

Sent to me by Elder Daughter. She said it would appeal to my sense of humour. Not sure what to make of that as she is never very complimentary about it. :)