To make you smile

These little gems should put a smile on your face! :)

Subject: FW: The Sea


:o) some of these are good

A number of Primary Schools were doing a project on "The Sea". Kids
were asked to draw pictures, or write about their experiences.

Teachers got together to compare the results, and put together some
of the comments that were funny, and some that were sad. Here are
some of them. The kids were all aged between 5 and 8 years.

This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age
6)

Whales are animals, not fish. If they don't get air they can drown,
like my brother did last summer. (David age 7)

Oysters balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

I don't like the sea. It makes me sick on the ferry. (Peter age 6)

My goldfish died. Why? (Katie age 5)

If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have
sea all round you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)

I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of it's head. (Billy
age 8)

My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6)

When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the
ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would
whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better
off eating beans. (William age 7)

I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.
How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always
screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big
sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to
write.(Amy
age 6)

Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric eels can
give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I
think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

My mum has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish. (Laura age 5)

When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my
willy small. (Kevin age 6)

When me and Sarah went to the sea side in the summer holidays, we hid
in the sand dunes and watched my big sister doing it with her
boy
friend. It was fun. (Lauren age 7)

When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship, and have lots of
sailors (Valerie age 6)

On holiday my Mum went water ski-ing. She fell off when she was
going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot
up her fanny. (Julie age 7)

End of story

Anyone still perched on the edge of their seat eagerly awaiting the end of our furniture saga may now relax, sink back into the cushions and heave a sigh of relief. We have received the refund cheque - without a hint of apology and made out to Keith, although the money came from my account, but a cheque, nonetheless.
Once it is safely deposited in the bank, I shall feel free to let fly with a letter of vitriolic abuse to the powers that be. Or maybe I'll just write them a letter of complaint, threaten them with Watchdog and inform them that all the details are on my blog and freely available to the internet universe! Now THAT should REALLY shake them up!!

Success first time!!

Please take a moment to scroll to the bottom of the sidebar, there to contemplate in admiration and amazement, my Welsh flag, which I have succeeded in uploading first time - i.e. without spending 6 hours on fruitless attempts, swearing profusely throughout. AND it MOVES!!! How clever is that!!! :)

P.S. My c.v. is available to anyone wishing to offer me employment at the cutting edge of web design as long as it is at a grossly inflated salary!

P.P.S. Scratch that. It only shows up on my computer. Back to the drawing board and the swearing!!!! :(

Autumn again

This is one view I see on my way to work in the morning so today, I left a little earlier, parked in a layby and took some photos, including this one, watched incredulously by a line of traffic - people on their way to work, rushing headlong into the day, heedless of the views around them. One of the things I love most about living here is that, even in town, you only have to lift your eyes to see the hills of Wales in the distance - a salutary reminder not to get bogged down in the minutiae of the day's events.
(That's the theory, anyway!)

Cows

I took this photo yesterday. Part of our route took us through a farmyard and these were some of the farmer's cows. I was intrigued by their facial markings - something akin to pandas wearing sunglasses! The farmer was very friendly and waved to us as he rounded up his sheep with the aid of 2 sheepdogs. I had never seen that before except on television (One man and his dog) years ago. You see what a townie I am!
I might add that, as always, my job was opening and closing the gates we needed to pass through, and, recent weather having been on the wet side, I made sure to wear my wellies - green ones, no less! Upmarket or wot!! (And boy, did they get muddy!)
Great fun was had by all! :)

Off road driving

Today Keith decided to put the Range Rover through its paces off road. He had the route all planned, downloaded from the internet. It began at our local Little Chef for breakfast (most important!) and from there we made our way through Oswestry and off into the wilds of Glen Ceiriog, pasing numerous cows, sheep, pheasants and even a rabbit en route.
We also discovered a lovely waterfall at Rhaeadr. Apparently, it's the highest in Wales, 240 feet.
In the carpark, we met a very friendly goat, who seemed keen on nibbling the open car door and a lovely St Bernard who lives there too. Pictures below. To see more, or if you suffer from terminal insomnia, go here

A pheasant

A pheasant One which decided not to throw himself under our wheels, unusually!