And back again

Back to Bristol with Dad today and a good journey - until we got to mad Bristol! Well, not actually Bristol - I gave up driving around Bristol many years ago. It's one of those places where the policy is to make life as difficult as possible for the poor beleaguered driver in the hope that, for his next journey he'll take the bus - if it turns up and is going anywhere near where he wants to go. On the road into where Dad lives is a Co-op, where we had planned to stop and stock up on the groceries he needs, but of course, there was nowhere to park anywhere near there so we carried on to the other end of the village where parking is usually easier.
Not today, however, as there was a fair going on on the common opposite the shops and so, again, not a spare inch of road on which to park. So back again to the original area to try another car park, unfortunately just as small and pokey as the first and just as full. Making it even fuller was the army of 'parking attendants' walking round photographing various cars, front, back, underneath, tyres. If they had been making a video, it would have been riveting! A mind reader would probably have described how they were rejoicing in the large amounts of cash they would soon be demanding from the drivers in fines, but they were certainly going about their task like people on a mission.
In the end, I had to drive Dad to his house and then make the journey to the Co-op on foot, twice, to do his shopping. I was not impressed! Coming back along the high street the first time, I noticed a large 4x4 stopped outside a row of shops, on double yellow lines, blocking the passage of a lengthy queue of traffic behind. Wondering if the driver had suddenly lost consciousness or died, I looked through the passenger window as I passed. There behind the wheel was a young woman, seemingly in the best of health, studiously ignoring all the hooting to the rear. I was so intrigued, I kept looking back till I got to the corner and eventually saw that she had been waiting to pick up her passenger from one of the shops! You would have thought there would be a traffic warden around to sort things out - oh no, they were all in the car park, taking photos of cars.
Which just goes to show the truth of my earlier observation - they are mad down here!

Help!

Dad is staying with us this week and has already lined himself up to be Paddy's ever-present, ever-constant 'patter on the head'.
Meanwhile, Keith has stepped up the diet over the weekend, has already lost nearly a stone and is proceeding apace with the light of the newly converted fanatic in his eyes. That means that any meal that deviates even slightly from 'grass' is verboten and this, in turn, means that I am rapidly approaching the stage where, if I see one more salad product, I shall break down in sobs of abject misery.
Can someone please smuggle me in some real food..... please......!