"Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give you," said the wisest of wise men. "The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon."



('The Alchemist' Paulo Coelho)




Friday, October 04, 2013

For YP from TK

People outside of Yorkshire might not be able to read this!!!!!!
It makes you feel proud to be a Yorkshireman!
 
Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs. Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth..
Police say the dangerous practice is called "e by gum"
...............................................................................
A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."
...............................................................................
A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"
...............................................................................
The last is always best
Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye lad, Magnum or Cornetto?"

10 comments:

Katherine said...

Hahahahaa!! I didn't get the vet one, but my encounters w' the YP have educated me about the others. Hilarious.

Helsie said...

Ha, Ha! Katherine. Well done.Probably all oldies but goodies !

Cro Magnon said...

The amazing thing is that they're all TRUE STORIES!

Jennyta said...

You have to know the Birmingham/Midlands accent for that one, Katherine. 'Eating carrot'.

Jennyta said...

The old ones are the best, Helsie. ;)

Jennyta said...

I couldn't possibly comment, Cro. (Otherwise, I'd have YP round here to give me a Chinese burn!)

Yorkshire Pudding said...

May I humbly refer you to http://beefgravy.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/yorkshireish.html (18th September 2013). Let it be known that I am now in deep discussions with my team of legal advisers. You'll be getting more than a Chinese burn young woman!

Jennyta said...

Blame TK, YP. He sent it to me!

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Shouldn't the title have been - "It makes you proud to feel a Yorkshireman" ?

Jennyta said...

Dunno, I've never felt one. (I've led a sheltered life, I have, tha knows!)

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