"Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give you," said the wisest of wise men. "The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon."

('The Alchemist' Paulo Coelho)

Saturday, January 26, 2013

The answer to all our problems!

'Borrowed' from a friend on Facebook:

Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to speak up!


Yorkshire Pudding said...

Now that is thinking outside the box. And here's another idea. As so many people travel on trains at peak times, their fares should be halved. Why should more demand equal higher prices? It should be the other way round. And if you buy a ticket but don't get a seat you get a full refund and a half price voucher for your next journey because of the inconvenience you have endured. Crazy, eh?

Denise Nesbitt said...

Wonderful! Could do this easily with MP's salaries.

The Owl Wood said...

Put the sanity down and back slowly away. It's not for you.

Consider this one too - why do any politicians have a full-time job? There's nothing on-going about what we need them to do. They should properly set up the systems for bins, roads, NHS, immigration, police ... and then bog off until there's a crisis or a need for a regular review and adjustment every four or five years. When did we decide that they should legislate endlessly, constantly?

Helsie said...

Fantastic... and the sad part is it the same for lots of countries. It certainly would apply here!

Cro Magnon said...

I think you're allowing 'common sense' to interfere with politics. That would never do!

elaine rickett said...

I think your FB friend has given this more thought than any politician - it all makes good sense to me.

Jennyta said...

Emminently sensible, YP but highly unlikely to happen, unfortunately.

Jennyta said...

Again, a great idea, Denise and, because of that, unlikely to happen!

Jennyta said...

I think many of them do, OW. So many of them seem to have other jobs or 'consultancies'.

Jennyta said...

Maybe because, with a tiny number of exceptions, there is a certain type of person who goes into politics and, these days, it's not people who want to help the country and its people.

Jennyta said...

Oh, shucks, however did I manage to do that, Cro! ;)

Jennyta said...

That's the stumbling block, Elaine, most politicians don't 'do' common sense. ;)

Katherine said...

Scarily wonderful. I'm going to put it on FaceBook.

Jennyta said...

Fire away, Katherine!

ZACL said...

A few sharp points there, lots of endless discussion. Politicians are good at that. We'd need some ground rules.

Jennyta said...

Better not leave it to the politicians, then, ZACL. ;)How are you fixed for a revolution?


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