I don't always follow the news and current affairs that closely, but I have the feeling that, somewhere, some time recently, I have heard mention of the World Cup. It only seems like five minutes since the last one, but, hey, life's too short to quibble. Anyway, it occurred to me that there are going to be more than a few wives, partners and girlfriends out there who will spend the next few weeks tiptoeing around, providing constant supplies of food and beverages and being deprived of any choice whatsoever on daily TV viewing. In addition, they will be expected to rally round, offering consolation and copious boxes of tissues when the results are bad and, most importantly, refrain from saying, "Well, it's only a bunch of idiots kicking a bladder of wind around a field, darling!"
Now all this emotional support is bound to take its toll, so I thought it would be a good business opportunity for me to offer counselling to all football widows for the duration. No, really, it's the least I can do!
However, offering bereavement counselling for the fans in the unthinkable event that England will lose ...
No, sorry, that's a step too far.
Well, I'd have to care, you see!