"Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give you," said the wisest of wise men. "The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon."



('The Alchemist' Paulo Coelho)




Sunday, June 03, 2007

A question

A question for all you male readers out there to reflect on, but ladies are welcome to contribute too:

It arises from a conversation with a counselling friend and experiences in the counselling context.
Do you think that men don't need relationships as much as women, or at least that they are less dependent on them and if so, why?
Answers will be gratefully received in the comments box.

8 comments:

  1. Men are just dependent as women when it comes to relationships. I listen to Dr. Laura on the radio at work and she characterizes men as a simple type w/ simple needs. Wrong, we are just as complicated as the women!

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  2. To be honest, I would've said it was the other way around.

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  3. I wonder what Dr Laura's opinion of homosexual men and dependancy is?

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  4. A jolly good question, Jenny. I think it really depends on the person. I was very needy of a relationship when I met and married Kelly. When that ended, I rushed into a relationship with Donna. Donna subsequently rushed off to marry some Dutchman and lives now in the Needylands. I live alone and have grown to prefer it that way.

    Women (like Kelly and Donna) who have little education and virtually no marketable job skills are often dependent on a relationship for their economic security. Education is the key to financial independence and I hope my Meagan stays in school.

    Personally, I think anyone who is healthy emotionally is quite capable of looking after himself/herself and doesn't need to be in a relationship. This type of person can live happily alone, but still (like me) might sometimes yearn for companionship.

    There's neediness and desperation on both sides of the gender fence. To nurture and be nurtured are, I think, universal human needs.

    And that's my tuppence worth.

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  5. It is all so primitive. It is about reproduction of the species. Men are always looking out wistfully on potential conquests. Women are home makers. Their instinct is to nurture families. Men are like lions vying for the opportunity to impregnate even though social mores usually stifle these primitive urges.

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  6. Our brains stop at 18. Everybody else is getting older except us virile, non-committal, drop dead gorgeous studs.
    Who needs relationships when you have the pick of the field?
    Oops sorry......I've just woken up. Is that the missus calling?

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  7. generally, I think that women regard men as lacking in any emotional complexity because men don't wear their feelings on their sleeve and women are unable to see beneath the surface and the superfial; if they can't see it then it's not there. Men are social humans just as women are but just less dependant on the 'show' of relationships

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  8. I think you may have something there, Krip!
    Arthur, you too to some extent, but I am not sure that it is just the 'show' of relationships that men are less dependent on or the relationships themselves.

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