The aftermath

This is how it looks here after the two (separate) walks, Paddy whining at the window while I take Jake out, a hectic charge around the living room, play-fighting with Paddy's orange rope and a lengthy scuffle around Keith's legs.

Peace at last!

I did take them both out together the other day.

I won't be doing that again in a hurry!

Customer service

This is a guide for all postal delivery services and in particular, good old Royal Mail and Parcel Force:

1.  When delivering a parcel, ensure that you don't actually make contact with the door knocker or bell and that you manage to post a 'you were out' card before the householder has any chance of spotting your presence. It is even better if you can arrange for this to happen on two consecutive days.
2. Ensure that information on the  card states that the parcel cannot be picked up within the next twenty four hours   (no need to say the postman is taking it home to bed with him.) 
3. Even better, state that the householder cannot arrange for re-delivery but must traipse all the way to whichever post office the delivery man has decided to take it to, to pick it up in person.
4. If you are going to allow the householder to ring up and arrange for re-delivery, ensure that it is impossible to get through on the 0845 number you provide and play an annoying message every few seconds suggesting that arrangements can be made online.
5. When the householder finally gives up and goes online, as suggested, it is vital that you make sure that the website is 'experiencing problems' and that it is thus impossible to use.
6. Finally, if you have required the householder to go to collect the parcel, probably at some inconvenience, make sure you have a bright yellow sticker plastered all over it with the logo 

CONVENIENT DELIVERY

Oh, and next time you appear at that address, make sure you are wearing your hard hat.

We do not forget!

Hi speed train?

"Birmingham to London - 45 minutes!" announced the newsreader proudly on this evening's news.

Wrexham to Mold (by bus) - 45 minutes.

Chez Jennyta to Wrexham (provided you manage to find a bus) 45 minutes.

Main road through mid Wales - practically a country lane.

You get the idea?

Of course, it makes complete sense to chuck so many millions at one, single route just to shave about 20 minutes off the journey time. Oh, and they will be extending that to Manchester and Leeds in due course, when they get round to it.

For the rest of us, back to pony and cart, I guess...