FreeSat again

Keith is grief-stricken.

This is because we now have FreeSat, which is good because it gives us access to local Welsh news, as I said in a previous post and we can also now watch S4C, which I shall, of course, be watching avidly in a couple more weeks when I am fluent in welsh. (Oh, all-right then, in about twenty years, if you want to be pedantic about it!)

But, these advantages notwithstanding, Keith is still not a happy bunny. I, on the other hand, was utterly delighted when I made the discovery. What am I talking about? We can't get channel 12 on FreeSat!

Channel 12, as any male reader from these shores will know, is the boring one, the one which shows an unbelievably huge quantity of war programmes and then more war programmes. What is it with men? Why are they so obsessed with re-living life in the 1940's? Of course, Keith has other channels to choose from, where he can watch black and white war films, programmes about men running about expending inordinate amounts of energy making weird vehicles from scrap vehicles, programmes about men knocking down chimneys and building traction engines in their back gardens... the list is endless. But channel 12, the 'Yesterday' channel is his favourite.

So, to avoid his drowning in a pool of tears like Alice in Wonderland, we have now agreed that, with a few twists of the wrist, he can access channel 12 via the TV's own freeview, whenever he feels the urge...

which, of course, is far too often to suit my viewing habits!

A Mother's Story: Seeing Paul

A Mother's Story: Seeing Paul

Why teachers drink

Second attempt! This was sent to me by someone I went to school with who, like me, is now happily retired. I did try to copy it as all the comments were in the children's original handwriting, but in the end, I had to type it instead. If you think they are all made up, you are not a teacher!

In wartime, children who lived in big cities had to be evaporated because it was safer in the country.

The total is when you add up all the numbers and a remainder is an animal that pulls Santa on his slay.

Sometimes in the war they take prisoners and keep them as ostriges until the war is over. Some prisoners end up in consterpation camps

A mosque is a sort of church. The main difference is that its roof is doomed.

I asked my mum why we said old men at the end of prayers at skool. I don’t know any old men apart from grandpa.

On ar activity holiday Dad wanted to ride the hores but mum said they were too ekspensiv.

I would like to be an accountant but you have to know a lot about moths.

The closest town to France is Dover. You can get to France on a train or you can go on a fairy.

If it is less than 90 degrees it is a cute angel.

….and at the end of the show we all sing away in a manager.

In last year’s Christmas concert Linzi played the main prat. I played one of the smaller prats and I would like to have a bigger prat this year.

Helicopters are cleverer than planes. Not only can they fly through the air they can also hoover.

Then Joan of Ark met her end. She was burned as a steak.

Crabs and creatures like them all belong to a family of crushed Asians.

In geography we learned that countries with sea around them are islands and ones without are incontinents.

If you marry two people you are a pigamist, but morons are allowed to do this.

Sir Walter Raleigh circumcised the world with a big clipper.

In Scandanavia, the Danish people come from Denmark, the Norwegians come from Norway and the Lapdancers come from Lapland.

Apologies

For those of you who were puzzled by the non-appearance of half my last post (now deleted), I'm afraid, for some reason, I just couldn't copy and paste or save it so that it would appear on the post, no matter what I tried. If I manage to solve the problem, I'll try again...