An accident

I met up with Gill and Julie in Chester on Thursday - our usual monthly (or thereabouts) get-together and very pleasant it was too. Then I came back to the Park and Ride on the bus, got into my trusty little Toyota Yaris and set off home. I had pulled onto the roundabout when a bigger and obviously much faster car, coming from my right decided to keep on coming at top speed, hit the back of my car, spin me round in a full circle and deposit me facing in my original direction but several feet further on and wondering what the hell was going on. It was one of those "I can't believe that really happened" moments, as I got out of the car to find the back of it minus most of the back bumper, lights etc. and somewhat skewed. Even the tax disc had jumped out of its holder to land on the floor by the driver's seat.
As you can imagine by the fact that I am able to write about this in a fairly light-hearted vein, I was not hurt and neither was the driver of the other vehicle (What could have happened --- no, we're not even going there.)
"Well, I think we can treat this as a 'knock for knock'," said the police officer who attended the scene. "Oh, do you," I thought. "Not bothered to look at the skid marks from the other vehicle, then?" But I didn't say anything - I just wanted it not to have happened.
By then Keith had arrived on the scene and ascertained that it was still driveable, so I drove back, following him.
He said he was very proud of me for doing that. Gold star for me, then!
But it looks like I'll be walking to my counselling work on Monday. Let's hope it won't be raining.

Strictly Come Dancing

The weekend evenings are transformed again with the advent of the new series of 'Strictly'. Keith and I have, in the main, very different tastes in TV programmes - for him think 'Scrapheap Challenge', 'Salvage Squad' and that boring thing in Orange County where they are supposed to be building motor bikes but spend all their time yelling at each other. However, this is one programme we both enjoy and I commented that it's a far cry from the old 'Come Dancing' from years ago, which prompted Keith to wonder about how today's version would fare if Health and Safety ever got their claws into it:

High kicks to be banished to avoid partners' heads being kicked in.
Sequins to be welded on - (no more 10,000 sequins being hand sewn by Molly Gubbins's mother.)
No sharp turns in the tango in case of cutting someone. ('sharp' turn - get it?)
Couples to be at least 2 chevrons apart to avoid danger of collision.
Women not allowed to do spins in long gowns to avoid danger of tripping.
Scaffolding to be used during lifts.
Hard hats to be worn at all times in case of head injuries.
No stiletto heels to be worn in case of broken ankles.
Far fetched? Hmm, maybe...

Car booting in the rain

Yes, I know what the weather forecast said about the north/south rain divide, but it was a toss up as to which side we were on, so off we went, bright and early this morning, in the hope that the rain was about to stop.
It didn't.
When we arrive at 6am, the field is normally already alive with car booters and the professional marketeers. This morning, there were about six of us hardy (foolish) souls. As it was still pitch black and getting darker, (Well, as they say, it's always darkest before dawn.) we sat in the van and played a quick game of 'I spy'. I thought mine was quite good - T for tail-lights, from a car which had arrived, looked around and then decided to high-tail it off back home again.
By seven o'clock it was getting light and we had had our first coffees, put the signs up and were ready for business.
By 8.30 Keith had some half decent music on the computer (all mod cons in that van!) and I was devising an energetic dance routine to keep warm and not completely lose the feeling in my extremities.
By 9.15 we had decided to call it a day - probably the sight of several other vans and cars disappearing down the track to the exit clinched it for us.
Back in Wrexham, there was blue in the sky and no doubt the millions of readers based in North Wales will be reading this and saying, "Rain? What rain?" This afternoon was a perfect, sunny autumn afternoon. Sod's Law!

A message from the Queen

I've seen this twice recently but today I received it from T.K. so I am posting it here for your delectation and enjoyment, especially yours Silverback as you settle into your winter abode. :)
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.) Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Both houses of Congress will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: -----------------------
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour,' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (Look up 'vocabulary'). ------------------------
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of '-ize.' -------------------
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. -------- ---------
4.You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse... -------------- --------
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public. ----------------------
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. --------------------
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it. -------------------
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar. -------------------
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion. --------- ------------
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater. ---------------------
11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancy boys). ---------------------
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries. -------------------- 13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad. -----------------
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776). ---------------
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season. God Save the Queen!
PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!