The RV comes back home

Today we went back to Telford to collect the RV after it had had the outstanding jobs done on it. It was lovely to see it again - and made me wish we were off on our travels again immediately instead of (hopefully) in late September. Yes, gluttons for punishment, but as Keith said, we can't let the ******* who robbed us get the better of us. I suppose it's a bit like getting back on a horse or a bike after falling off and anyway, we need a fact-finding tour to check out where we want to live when the time comes.
The RV lives at Keith's Dad's house, which is at present being done up, and it is a very snug fit, so the usual practice is to ask Giles to pop over and shout out the relevant instructions for guiding it into the garden. Today however, he was unobtainable, which meant that the whole responsibility fell on the shoulders of yours truly. Two problems:
1. Keith can't hear me when I shout instructions from the rear of the vehicle.
2. I'm not sure what instructions to shout.
I know what I want him to do, but I don't know how to tell him how to do it. For instance, 'left hand down a bit' - does that mean that the wheels will turn left or right and consequently, will the van go left or right? 'Full lock' - well what on earth does that mean?
We managed to get it in without too much trouble but I need to have a set of meaningful instructions to shout out - oh and a megaphone to do it with.

Serrurier, anyone?

A very nice man came to do the energy assessment of the house for the HIP yesterday (that's the Home Information Pack - yet another of the government's 'jobs for the boys' and means of extracting ever more money out of us). As I say, he was very pleasant and even changed into another pair of shoes to come into the house in case he made the floors dirty. Apart from that, he prowled round the outside of the house for a few minutes, counted the radiators, looked at the boiler and stuck his head into the attic space to check on the insulation. Money for old rope, really. I was tempted to ask him if there are any vacancies in his line of work.
Then he told me that the highest score any house can possibly get is about 66% as the system is set up to take account of the years ahead when houses will be ever more energy efficient, but not a lot of people know this. Given that, according to estate agents, very few people bother to read the HIPs anyway, those who do are perhaps not going to be terribly impressed by a reading of 66% or less.
Anyway, to get the the title of this post. Keith is now getting very excited and is wondering about taking his van with him when we go to live in France so that he can carry on with his business. He has spent a few hours this morning searching for auto-locksmiths in France and has not come up with any. I told him the word for locksmith is 'serrurier'. Try saying that after a few glasses of vin rouge and pronouncing the 'r's properly!

It's all going on!

It's been a hectic few days. On Sunday, I decorated the bathroom - yes the whole room in a day, including popping out to buy some nice little colour co-ordinated accessories for the finishing touches. Then there were the paint touch ups around the house, tidying up the garden, chucking a few plants in strategically placed pots and.... the big one, dismantling NASA and putting it in temporary retirement in the shed. Not for nothing am I a fervent desciple of 'House Doctor'!