Blonde power!

This one is specially for Elder Daughter. She always enjoys 'blonde' jokes - courtesy of TK, as always.

A Blonde's Year in Review

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours ..... power went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the otherswimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.
September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December - Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

Cows???

"The A483 is closed," Keith announced this morning, having just watched the local news on television.
"Oh no! Why?"
(The concern being because it is on my route to work and I am not very familiar with alternative routes. )
"There are some cows on it."
Could only happen in Wales, really, couldn't it?
I went to get my GPS set up.

It's a man's life

According to TK, this is the best joke of 2007 - or was it 2006? Judge for yourselves:

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the cheque book.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.Then it was already 1P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. He ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said:
-"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day.Please, oh! oh! please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel You have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

Plaster board and dust

So, we're still no further forward on the British Gas smart meter front and I've given up making non-existent appointments with them...