Moped chase? Sorry, sir.


Because I rarely manage to sleep through the night without waking at least once, the radio stays on till morning, Radio 4 giving way to the World Service and then back to Radio 4 again in the early morning, so it often happens that I hear snippets of news just before 'getting up' time and being half awake and still half asleep, I often wonder if I have heard accurately.
This morning was a case in point.
The news item was about an 18 year old boy who, on hearing someone start up his moped with a view to disappearing with it, rang the police. Give them their due, they arrived just as the said moped was speeding down the road with its three occupants. How you get three people on a moped is a similar problem to fitting 4 elephants in a mini, I would have thought, (two in the front and two in the back, in case you didn't know) but that's by the by. The problem, as far as the police were concerned, was that the thieves were not wearing helmets. Understandable, I suppose. You're strolling down the road and you happen to come across an unattended moped which would seem to provide the ideal transport home, if a little short on leg room, and it's unlikely that you had the forethought to bring a helmet with you.
However, the absence of helmets posed a problem for the police as they informed the owner that they were terribly sorry but they couldn't pursue the moped because, should one of its occupants fall off and injure himself, he might sue them!
You couldn't make it up!



Health and Safety

There was an item on the news this morning which I half heard, about a disgruntled tenant partially dismantling a house and wrecking two cars. The police were unable to prevent him from doing this and had to wait until the fire brigade arrived.
"Surely they could have done something?" I protested.
"Well, he was in a JCB," said Keith, "so I don't suppose they were about to jump on that."
No, I suppose not. Especially when I remembered a conversation I had with the local police a few years ago about vandalism during which I was informed that if the front gate was locked, the local constabulary were not about to climb over the fence, which was all of four feet high, in order to get onto the premises.
"Health and safety, you see," I was told.
So I presume they just stood back and let him get on with it then.

Plaster board and dust

So, we're still no further forward on the British Gas smart meter front and I've given up making non-existent appointments with them...