Eurovision

It's that time of year again - the Eurovision Song Contest. It's so long since I last sat through it that I hadn't realised that people can now send in their own votes. No more 'nul points' for Finland, then? For some incomprehensible reason, Keith flicked the remote to BBC1 just as it was starting and stayed with it....................no Scrapheap Challenge tonight I guess.

My only reaction is one of a mixture of admiration and disbelief that Terry Wogan has managed to sit through so many evenings of this over the past however many years. Ye gods, the man deserves a medal at the very least - a chest full of them even. The only bright spots in an evening otherwise distinguished only by its catatonic-inducing state are his wonderfully dry comments thrown in at appropriate moments:

"This one raises suspenders to new heights." (Turkey, I think.)

Sheer genius!

TK's latest

Offered in the hope that the current, seemingly everlasting RAIN will, some day, cease!

After 6 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine:1) The woman buys the food.

2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makesdessert.

3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray alongwith the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the manwho is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.Here comes the important part:

4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.More routine....

5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.Important again...

7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. More routine .

8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,sauces and brings them to the table.

9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all:

10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women ...

Across the abyss

Last night Keith and I watched the first two episodes of the excellent BBC series Life on Mars (courtesy of DVD) which might not be particularly noteworthy as an event except that it was that very rare thing, a programme that we both enjoy watching. While we get on exceptionally well in all areas of daily life, so much so that there is ne'er a cross word between us, our TV interests are poles apart. While I am enjoying my daily fix of Emmerdale and Corrie, Keith suffers in excruciating silence, until it's his turn to wave to me across the abyss that divides our viewing tastes, whilst indulging in the pleasures (?) of more manly offerings such as Scrapheap Challenge, Salvage Squad, American Chopper et al.
(And then there was a recent Sunday afternoon when I was suffering from a migraine headache, made worse by the screeching of Grand Prix motor racing, but the less said about that the better.)

I do appreciate that he is entitled to watch his programmes and, if I find it really unbearable, I usually clamp earphones to my head and listen to music, but it is a bit of a non-starter in the staff room when everyone else is chatting about last night's Location, Location, Location or House Doctor and I suddenly chip in with an observation about the American Chopper team's latest bike design. The silence is deafening.