Guess the object

Your task for today is to identify these two photos which Keith took with his new toy, a Digital Blue QX5 computer microscope . No prizes, I'm afraid, but please leave your suggestions in the comments box.
Keith was rather annoyed that I wouldn't consider posting the photo that he really wanted to take. If you can guess what that is, then you have won the star prize!

Remembering

It's a beautiful day today. The sun is shining, fluffy white clouds are scudding across the sky and the temperature is encouraging. So encouraging that I felt the urge to go and do a bit of work in the sadly neglected garden.
I mowed the lawn, tidied up the few plants we have, brushed the patio, as I did last year and the year before.
But this time, there is no Lucy pottering around behind me, flopping down on the patio, watching my every move.

I sat on the bench and listened to the birds, felt the warmth of the sun and thought of Lucy.

A special treat

"Do you know what we could do if you come with me to work tomorrow?" Keith asked me the other evening.
Delicious thoughts of going out for lunch, a quick drive into the country after work, shopping for something nice chased each other across my mind................ (But of course, we couldn't because he can't sit in a car for more than 10 minutes with his thigh length cast.)
"We could do some advertising fliers to send out!" he exclaimed enthusiastically.
Hmmmm.......................

Birthday presents

In a couple of weeks it will be Keith's birthday. When I asked him what he would like as a present, he insisted that he didn't want anything.
Fast forward to yesterday, when I spent the whole day in the shop being tortured by the sight of his jacket. It's a nice jacket normally, a warm, casual jacket that keeps out the cold during winter. The problem now though is that, since his accident, he has been dressing 'casually' rather than in the suit that he normally wears and 'casually' seems to mean keeping his jacket on all day. But the REAL problem is that, as he keeps it on all day, it is now full of stains. In fact, if Keith were to take it off and leave the door open, it would leg it to the cleaners down the road before you could say 'Jack Robinson.'
So this morning, off I went in search of a new jacket for Spring which could double up as a surprise, early birthday present. On the phone at lunch-time, I mentioned that I had bought him an early birthday present.
"Ooh, something I can eat?" he asked.
"No."
"Something I can drink?"
"No."
"Oh." The disappointment in his voice was almost tangible.
He liked it when he saw it though.

Ageism

I was in the shop all day yesterday. In the afternoon a customer came in with a query about the system he had bought from us in January.
"Who did you deal with?" I asked.
"Oh, the old fellow," he said.
I could feel the irritation and annoyance within me.
"He is not old," I said sternly.
He looked at me as if he didn't really believe me.
"Trust me," I insisted. "He is NOT old!"
He shuffled a bit. "Oh, OK," he said, sensibly opting for the quiet life.
I went to get Keith.

(Of course, when he wheeled himself out of the work area in his wheelchair, the effect was rather spoiled!)

Life explained

Another little gem from T.K. Rather cynical maybe...............

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind ! of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give! you twenty years."
But man said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," God said. "You asked for it."
So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you

The worst typo in history

Another little gem from T.K.

A new young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the
other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.
He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not
from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to
question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy,
it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all
of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries,
but you make a good point, my son."
So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the
original manuscript is held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been
opened for hundreds of years.
Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.
So, the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him. He
sees him banging his head against the wall, and wailing "We forgot the "R",
We forgot the "R" !"
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.
The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father ?"
With a choking voice, the old abbot replies:
"The word is 'celebrate' ".<

Spring?

Spring seems a long time coming this year. Here we are well into April and the weather forecasters are still making sly references to snow.

Looking carefully this morning, the signs are that maybe it won't be too much longer.