"Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give you," said the wisest of wise men. "The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon."

('The Alchemist' Paulo Coelho)

Monday, May 13, 2013

Thanks TK.

This is from Australia and other versions have been doing the rounds in the past but it's one of those things you read and laugh at and then quietly weep as it reminds us how ridiculous our societies have become in so many ways. Enjoy!   

           In the year 2013, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Australia and said:
           "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.  
           Build another  Ark   and save 2 of every living   thing along with a few good humans."
           He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:
           "You have 6 months to build the  Ark before I will start the unending rain in Queensland first for 40 days and 40 nights."

           Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah
           Weeping in his yard - but no  Ark
           "Noah!," He roared, "I've started the rain in Queensland !
           Where is the    Ark?"
           "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed."

           "I needed a Building Permit."

           "I've been arguing with the Boat Inspector
           About the need for an on-board sprinkler system.

           "My neighbours claim that I've violated the
           Neighbourhood Bye-Laws by building the  Ark in my
           Backyard  and exceeding the height limitations.  We had to
           Go to the Councill Planning Committee for a decision."

           "Then the Local Council and the Electricity Company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power
           Lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the
           Passage for the  Ark's move to the sea.  I told them
           That the sea would be coming to us, but they would
           Hear nothing of it."

           "Getting the wood was another problem.  There's a ban
           On cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Mopoke."
           "I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the the Mopokes - but no go!"
           "When I started gathering the animals the RSPCA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.  They
           Argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and
           It was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in
           A confined space."

           "Then the Environmental Protection Agency ruled that I couldn't build the   Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study
           On your proposed flood."

           "I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the
           Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm
           Supposed to hire for my building gang."

           "Immigration are checking the
           Visa status of most of the people who want to work."

           "The trades unions say I can't use my sons.  They
           Insist I have to hire only Union workers with
           Ark-building experience."

           "To make matters worse, the Australian Taxation Office seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally
           With endangered species."

           "So, forgive me, Lord, but it will take at least 10
           Years for me to finish this  Ark."

           Suddenly the skies cleared over Queensland , the sun began to shine,
           And a rainbow stretched across the sky."

           Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
           "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

           "No," said the Lord.   " The Australian Government beat me to it!!"


Cro Magnon said...

My daughter lives in Queensland, so I'm part relieved, and part anxious.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Ha! Ha! Great punchline at the end. And nice to see a new blogpost from you after a month of waiting! I was starting to think you'd tripped over Paddy and tumbled down somewhere - either that or Keith had imprisoned you in the attic!

Jennyta said...

It could happen anywhere, Cro. ;)

Jennyta said...

Thanks, YP. I just haven't been inspired to write anything lately. Don't know why but it wasn't as a result of tripping over Paddy or being imprisoned by Keith. ;)

Shooting Parrots said...

So that's why the end of the world as predicted by the Mayans didn't happen last year!

Jennyta said...

Spot on, SP. ;)


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