Second attempt! This was sent to me by someone I went to school with who, like me, is now happily retired. I did try to copy it as all the comments were in the children's original handwriting, but in the end, I had to type it instead. If you think they are all made up, you are not a teacher!
In wartime,
children who lived in big cities had to be evaporated because it was safer in
the country.
The total is when
you add up all the numbers and a remainder is an animal that pulls Santa on his
slay.
Sometimes in the
war they take prisoners and keep them as ostriges until the war is over. Some prisoners
end up in consterpation camps
A mosque is a sort
of church. The main difference is that its roof is doomed.
I asked my mum why
we said old men at the end of prayers at skool. I don’t know any old men apart
from grandpa.
On ar activity
holiday Dad wanted to ride the hores but mum said they were too ekspensiv.
I would like to be
an accountant but you have to know a lot about moths.
The closest town to
France is Dover. You can get to France on a train or you can go on a fairy.
If it is less than
90 degrees it is a cute angel.
….and at the end of
the show we all sing away in a manager.
In last year’s
Christmas concert Linzi played the main prat. I played one of the smaller prats
and I would like to have a bigger prat this year.
Helicopters are
cleverer than planes. Not only can they fly through the air they can also
hoover.
Then Joan of Ark
met her end. She was burned as a steak.
Crabs and creatures
like them all belong to a family of crushed Asians.
In geography we
learned that countries with sea around them are islands and ones without are
incontinents.
If you marry two
people you are a pigamist, but morons are allowed to do this.
Sir Walter Raleigh
circumcised the world with a big clipper.
In Scandanavia, the
Danish people come from Denmark, the Norwegians come from Norway and the
Lapdancers come from Lapland.
6 comments:
Lord, I wish I had copied down all the funny mistakes that I saw in children's writing over the years but marking became an enormous chore that ate into my nights and weekends and after about five years I stopped chuckling about the "bloopers".... I remember at primary school, the teacher (my dad!) asked if anyone knew the names of any great composers. Joyce Collingwood put her hand up, declaring knowledgeably, "Albert Hall!"
Good ones - though I sometimes come across howlers written by science/maths authors who should know better... including the angels, of course.
Ailsa
That's the problem, YP, the pressures of the job mean you don't have time to appreciate the lighter side. The only one I can remember offhand is a Y3 pupil who was not over-endowed with the grey matter and came in from playtime one day announcing, "Ross and me have been playing pig in the middle!"
Ailsa, glad you enjoyed them. :)
I agree - yes looking back there were some howlers!
Thanks for retyping them, I agree too good not to share.
Lucy
Some of those blighters have been copying my homework!
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