"Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give you," said the wisest of wise men. "The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon."



('The Alchemist' Paulo Coelho)




Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Engineers


Got this in my inbox this morning from TK. Enjoy.
Understanding Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, 'Where did you get such a great bike?'
The second engineer replied, 'Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own
business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, 'Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway.'
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, 'What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!' The doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!' The priest said, 'Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.'
He said, 'Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?' The greens keeper replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.'
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.' The doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them.' The engineer said, 'Why can't they play at night?'
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, 'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, 'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, 'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with an arts degree asks, 'Do you want fries with that?'
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers
of the human body.
One said, 'It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.'
Another said, 'No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.'
The last one said, 'No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?'
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

4 comments:

  1. An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

    The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

    The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.

    The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?"

    Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the shed and get some work done."

    ReplyDelete
  2. Engineers were responsible for the Chernobyl Plant, the flood fortifications around New Orleans and several disastrous bridges including the Washington Tahoma Bridge and the first Tay Railway Bridge. The list is endless. I'd rather celebrate a poet than an engineer any day. Or am I taking this too seriously?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes, I think perhaps you are, YP. What about Thomas Telford and Brunel?

    ReplyDelete

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