I achieved something quite amazing last week. I managed to persuade Keith that he needed appointments with the dentist and the optician. I think it may have been the pain of his arm being thrust between his shoulder blade that did the trick but, suffice it to say, he has not seen the inside of an optician's lair for at least eight years and, as for the dentist:
"If you don't go," I threatened, "they will charge you for the missed appointment and take you off their list and you know how difficult it was to find an NHS dentist with vacancies..."
So he went to the dentist yesterday.
Bear in mind that this is a man who, I am convinced, was the prototype for Just William and so is never going to be a candidate for teeth whitening and other cosmetic dentistry but who returned from the dentist bearing a satisfied smirk and the news that he needed no treatment. (In contrast to moi who takes fanatical care of her teeth, yet still needed a filling to be replaced!)
Today it was was turn of the optician. An hour later, he returned in a state of some considerable agitation at the cost of his new glasses. Useless to remind him that the last time he had a new pair of glasses, they were still being made with real glass lenses and tortoiseshell frames, the man was inconsolable.
I think he may need to go and lie down in a darkened room...