How dentists age!


I had to go to the dentist yesterday. It was only for a checkup but I knew I also needed a filling, with the accompanying, dreaded injection - in the event, I needed two of those! My dentist is Latvian. Her English is fine, although she doesn't speak much and actually, I wouldn't care if she was Martian because, as I think I have mentioned before, NHS dentists are like hens' teeth around here, so  Keith and I consider ourselves  lucky to have found one. Well, I think Keith considers himself lucky, but he hides it well when the time comes for him to go.
Anyway, in keeping with the dental theme of the day, Keith found me the following:
(Apologies for the capital letters, but that's how it came.)

MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR
MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL
DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.
SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE
SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT. THIS BALDING, GRAY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD
ATTENDED MORGAN PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL .
'YES, YES I DID. I'M A MORGANNER! 'HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE.
'WHEN DID YOU LEAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE?' I ASKED
HE ANSWERED, IN 1965. WHY DO YOU ASK?
'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!' I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN THAT UGLY,
OLD,
BALD,
WRINKLED,
FAT ARSED,
GREY HAIRED,
DECREPIT,
BASTARD ASKED.....
'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?'

4 comments:

Rosie said...

That made me laugh out loud, thanks. :0

Jennytc said...

You're welcome, Rosie!

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Ha! Ha! A cruel twist. I guess that none of us appear as young as we feel. I hope the rest of that lady's dental appointment went swimmingly.

Jennytc said...

After he'd picked himself up off the floor, you mean, YP? ;)

Plaster board and dust

So, we're still no further forward on the British Gas smart meter front and I've given up making non-existent appointments with them...