"Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give you," said the wisest of wise men. "The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon."

('The Alchemist' Paulo Coelho)

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Re-grouping forces

We have a few jobs which need doing on the RV. It is under warranty, so it will be going back to Telford, where we bought it, to have the starter motor looked at (a bit sluggish when we stop and then want to start again within a few minutes, the fridge door repair redoing and the electric window on the driver's side, which conked out during our short trip. As the RV is left hand drive, this was a potential problem for those times when we couldn't avoid 'autoroutes payages'. However, Keith to the rescue, as always. With the help of a washing line I just happened to have on board (Be prepared!), he effected a workable repair which, however, meant that he needed his two hands to close the window so he had to choose his moment carefully.
We also want to get it fitted to use LPG, which will reduce fuel costs quite a bit.
That leaves the question of what to do to to ensure that we get no more break-ins. The lock on the driver's door, which Keith doesn't actually use anyway, is very basic, as we have now discovered, so that will have to be upgraded and perhaps a deadlock fitted also.
Then there was talk of Keith keeping a baseball bat beside the bed and starting blocks on my side so that I can get off to a good start when chasing the intruders. Further discussion with Elder Son (who is in the Royal Engineers) has thrown up a few more interesting possibilities.
"Mace sprays are legal in France," he suggested, but Keith reminded him that, in such a confined space, it would affect us as badly as the intruders. So then he suggested stun guns, to which Keith, getting fully into the spirit of the moment, added the possibility of a Thompson sub-machine gun.
Oh and we need razor wire around the rear ladder and an electric current through the door handles. Now we just need to check if the good people in Telford can do all that for us.
Well, it is still under warranty.


Daphne said...

Of course, by Murphy's Law, once you've gone to all this trouble nobocy will even consider robbing you ever again. But it will make you feel better (especially the sub-machine gun).

Jay said...

Sounds like the conversations we have with our elder boy sometimes, only he usually suggests something called 'laz cannons' being a gamer. LOL!

How about a good loud alarm system? Maybe a proximity sensor to tell you when someone is within a foot of the outside of the RV? I hate to mention this, because I think it's probably an urban myth, but I have heard stories about thieves in proper Europe (the 'other side of the Channel' Europe) using knock-out gas of some kind sent in through air vents to rob motorhome owners while they sleep. Didn't wake with a headache, did ya?

Silverback said...

I know you were only joking about the gun (I think !!) but in the US many RV owners DO sleep with a gun next to them.

Cheaper than a wife and not as noisy.

A cheaper option may be something like this -


Sorry but don't know how to create a link on a comment page.

Silverback said...

As a follow up to the door wedge, you can get excellent door alarms for £4.99 from Maplins.

I'd think with one of those on the inside and a 'Sleeping Rottweiler - Please Knock Quietly' sign on the outside, you might sleep better at night.

Jennyta said...

Thanks for the link, Ian. The door wedge would only work on doors opening inwards, I imagine but the door alarms sound good.

Jay, thanks, I feel so much better now!! ;)

Daphne, I certainly hope you are right. We've hopefully had our turn now.

Anonymous said...

Hey Jenny, scrap the modifications - why not go all out and buy a tank !!!! I can just imagine you and Keith painting your faces and springing out of the lid shouting insults to surprised intruders ! I have visions of not so much Rambo but more Dad's Army....altogether now "Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler ?" ;-) CraigyBaby !

Jennyta said...

You had to spoil it with the last sentence, Craig. Don't forget, we'll be meeting up at Veronica's soon - and Keith will be there too!!

Yorkshire Pudding said...

So sorry to hear that a thieving bastard or bastards robbed you at the "aire". My lord, you and Keith must sleep heavily! Glad you are both okay though and that there was no violence involved. Perhaps what you need is an underfed slavering Rottweiler called Satan dozing lightly behind the front seat and as Thieving Frog sneaks in Satan thinks "Mmmm! Supper!"

Jennyta said...

Actually I don't sleep heavily normally, YP. A nice little rottweiler sounds like a good idea though.


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