"Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give you," said the wisest of wise men. "The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon."



('The Alchemist' Paulo Coelho)




Friday, March 07, 2008

New style blog

Well, this is it. I'm taking Yorkshire Pudding's advice (well some of it, or maybe just the general gist of it) and spicing up this blog, in eager anticipation of a money- filled book deal. So, here goes...

He was waiting for me in the living room. His head turned towards the door as he heard my key in the lock. I closed the door, making sure I locked it and sashayed towards him.
"Alone at last," I breathed as I leaned forward and caressed his beard.
For a moment I stood there, immobile, my eyes drinking in the hunk of manhood before me. Slowly, deliberately, he stood up. The computer chair rolled back as I gazed on the coiled spring of masculine pheromones before me. He moved closer and I could feel his breath on my cheek as he bent his head to mine.
"I want to whisk you away to paradise," whispered the throaty voice, "Just let me sort out this hard drive first."

He groaned as he lifted his throbbing head from the smashed remains of the monitor...

(Next episode will be about me molesting one of my clients in the new downstairs loo and calling him The Fling. How's that, YP? How would you like to be my agent?)


9 comments:

  1. Yes. I will be your agent as long as the cut is 50/50.
    When the "hunk of manhood" (aka Keith?) said he was sorting out the hard drive was he referring to the computer or was he using the term metaphorically?

    P.S. Love the verb to sashay - best done in a silky sarong in my view. Do they sell such things in Welsh Wales?

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  2. My glasses are all steamed up now!

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  3. Try contacts, Rosie. ;)
    YP it's gotta be 20/80 or I'm not writing another word! Sarongs in Wales? Don't think so, but I can call in on Birmingham sometime.
    No, he would be referring to the computer. No soul, than man!

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  4. Speaking of metaphors, I'm very concerned about his "throbbing head" covered in shards of monitor glass.

    YP has created a Jackie Collins from a Barbara Cartland !!

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  5. Barbara Cartland!!! Apologise at once!!!
    (PS I choose my adjectives carefully when writing. ;))

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  6. Good grief, Jenny ! That blog entry should come with a warning - the thought of old people having rumpy pumpy has put me right off my homework now ! ;O) From CraigyBaby (who can't work out how to put his name on this new fangled comments section !)

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  7. (who can't work out how to put his name on this new fangled comments section !)

    Does the above comment mean that young(ish) people are thick, Craig??? Re homework - done over 1000 words of my assignment! ;)

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  8. Showing off doesn't become you, Jenny ! ;O) CraigyBaby ! And what's with the 'ish' you cheeky thing - don't think it went un-noticed !

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  9. You're not getting any younger, Craig, me lad. Tempus fugit, time waits for no man etc.

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