Builder - where?

I have been happy to bore anyone who will listen with praise of the new conservatory. For a start, it has been very well built, proper foundations, brick colour and pattern carefully matched to the house brick and there is certainly a lovely sense of peace, calm and escapism when I sit in there; perfect ambiance for counselling clients.
We asked the builder who did it to give us an estimate for a downstairs toilet. He came to measure up and told us he would be in touch within the week. That was over two weeks ago. I gave him the cheque for the conservatory at the same time and he mentioned that he was anxious to bank it as soon as possible. Keith asked him if he was interested in doing some work at his Dad's house, which is currently being renovated and he said he was.
So we waited patiently until the end of last week and then Keith tried ringing his mobile number but it was always switched off. Finally, he did get through but it was Mrs Builder who answered. Keith asked her if the builder would please ring him back. "Yes," she said, and that was it.
Also, when I checked my bank account, I discovered that, over two weeks after he had taken the cheque, it had still not been paid in.
Curiouser and curiouser!
So, readers, what do you think?
The butler ... in the library... with the candlestick?


13 comments:

Dale said...

The builder ... up his arse ... with the length of your boot!

(Well you asked, didn't you?) ;)

Jennytc said...

Oh dear, Dale, you are really lowering the tone of my blog! ;)

Silverback said...

Just how deep did those foundations go ??

Ian

Yorkshire Pudding said...

I think he has installed mini cameras in your conservatory and he is happily chuckling at the confusion his broken promises have caused. Either that or he has been banged up for being drunk and disorderly in a Marilyn Monroe costume in Rhyl town centre.

Jennytc said...

Just what are you insinuating, Ian?
YP, the two options are possible, although not likely and in any case, he doesn't have the figure for a Marilyn Monroe constume. I take it you're not writing from experience??

Anonymous said...

It's probably taking the bank that long to convert your shillings and farthings into modern-day money, Jenny ;O)

Daphne said...

Either you should be furious because the builder was no good, or he should be furious because you haven't paid him: that's how it is in all builder stories.
You paying him, and him not cashing the cheque, shows that there's something very unusual going on. Perhaps the spiders are omens.

Jennytc said...

Do you not have an understanding of the concept of 'a cheque', Craig, honey???;)
Daphne, you could be right. Maybe I should be Miss Marple on the job!

Dale said...

Hey! How come you never call ME "honey"?
(arms folded. pouting.)

Jennytc said...

OK, Dale, honey - how's that? :)

Jennytc said...

I might add, Dale, that, in Craig's case, it is said with an element of threat...!

Shooting Parrots said...

My money is on "builders' chaos theory". They have their own timeline several decades out of synch with the rest of us.

Flip of a coin here: either your conservatory was completed in 1973 and will cost you 2/6d or it will be 2023 and you will owe him the oil-rights of the Falklands!

Jennytc said...

Im hoping he's having such an exciting time that he will forget to bank the cheque altogether.

Plaster board and dust

So, we're still no further forward on the British Gas smart meter front and I've given up making non-existent appointments with them...