This came to my inbox the other day, courtesy of C.M.
A young woman in Galway was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Atlantic Ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the freezing water when a young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."
Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."
The girl nodded. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in America would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
Two weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain.
"What are you doing here?" the captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to America, and he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," the captain said. This is the Arran Islands Ferry.