"Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give you," said the wisest of wise men. "The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon."



('The Alchemist' Paulo Coelho)




Friday, August 25, 2006

Bristolian spiders

I was confronted in the bathroom last night by the biggest, nastiest, fattest spider I have seen in a long time - obviously one of the many 'obese' characters in the country that the government is so worried about.
Nothing for it but to call on Dad to ride to the rescue, which he did, with an air of resignation indicative of having had to do this many times before. If the thought went through his head that at my age I should be able to deal with my own spiders, he gave no sign of it.
Some foot stamping and scuffling ensued.
"I think I got it. It should be all-right now."
Not enough! For a peaceful night's sleep I need firm assurances that the creature has been stamped on, flattened to kingdom come and that there will never be remotest chance that it will resurface to raise my blood pressure again. A demonstration of the mangled body, albeit viewed through half closed eyes and the wrong end of binoculars, would be even more reassuring...

7 comments:

  1. He only hid it in the wardrobe.....

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  2. Spiders are beautiful and interesting creatures. I am appalled that you have no qualms about having them stomped to death. Okay I recognise that many people - my daughter included - have genuine fears about spiders but if you want them out of your house then they need collecting with care and taken to suitable alternative locations. That's what I have done many, many times. Remember, spiders were on this planet long before we humans came along.

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  3. George! I'm glad I only read your comment since I got home!
    YP - it doesn't work - they come back in again. I speak from experience!

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  4. Pish posh, YP. Stomp 'em, I say. Mash 'em. Squish 'em. Put them down the loo, foul creatures. LOL!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. SPIDERS UNITED8/27/2006 12:57:00 am

    Dale... we are already coming for you. We'll weave webs around your walrus moustache and squish you, mash you...
    The Spiders Rule! Now LOL you bad man!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Don't know who Spiders United are but I'm glad they're going to Dale and not me!

    ReplyDelete

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